The NHL Owners Must Be Left Spittin’ Blood…

In negotiations, I have been called a hard ass, asshole and, well, even worse. I negotiate big contracts. It’s part of my job. The CBA negotiations between the NHL players and the NHLPA more than peaks my interest – I am into it. I have gone back and looked at 2004 again just to remind myself what happened. The quotes from that time period are something else. Gary Bettman’s bullshit was so thick and, today, he looks like a blithering idiot when he tries to justify the NHL owners’ position.

Credibility – destroyed.

But that’s exactly why the fucker and all of the NHL owners are dangerous. These clowns negotiate like they have nothing to lose, as if it’s just a matter of time before the players cave in to their demands and they all call each other with a cigar in each mouth, a whiskey in hand and laughing at Donald Fehr and the players. Gary Bettman…he is taking it from behind from Beelzebub and the 22 inch thorn laced cock, a condition of Bettman’s negotiated station in life – what, you thought it was based on merit?

Slowly, my ire has grown. I sit in Donald Fehr’s position and face Bettman. The hard ass, no asshole, comes out of me. I look at my players, the ones who count on me to get them the best deal I can and I find myself ready to tear the owners limb by limb.

I don’t want to win these negotiations.

I want the owners to surrender.

I want Samueli to prefer prison than to deal with me, Rocky Wirtz to wake in the middle of the night tormented by thoughts of me, Mike Ilitch to cry for a deal between each tear he sheds for Lidstrom, Molson to curse at me in French so I can laugh at his incompetent self and tell him that Surly would rather fuck his dog than his wife because she is that ugly, ignore Jeff Vanderbeek because the poor son of a bitch has enough problems, remind Charles Wang that he isn’t important enough to insult, burst into the offices of MSG, Inc. and take a flamethrower to the place, shake Mario Lemieux’s hand right before I kick Ron Burkle in the nuts and walk in to see in horror Craig Leipold as the meat in Ed Snider and Jeremy Jacobs’ sandwich.

Fuck the owners.

That is the strategy.

Why the hell would I negotiate a deal that encourages them to do this again? Each time these assholes want something, they are going to lock my players out? No way. We are right. We are strong. The fans and public are behind us. The media has our back. Owners have leverage? Hell no. WE have leverage. We are the game. Without us, they have empty arenas.

Gary Bettman wants to play hard ball? I am going to throw strikes with his sack.

My call to Bettman: “Last offer is off the table. You will never see it again. Every player has been told to make plans to sit out the season. No, not just this one. The next one too. They are all signing in Europe and leagues around the world. Go tell your owners, the ones whom you represent, the ones in the big markets who don’t want this to drag on because they lose millions per week to stare into their empty arenas. Tell them to get used to it. We are done negotiating until two things happen. One, you are fired. Two, the salary cap, like you, is history. What’s that? Gary, I can’t understand you when you’re screaming. Ha ha. I don’t think I can physically do that. Send your wife over and I’ll try it on her first. Happy Rosh Hashanah to you too, mother fucker.”

They want to see leverage? I will leverage their shaft through their nostrils.

That 10 year NBC contract? Oops. Not a good time to flex the muscles of that 5’2″ frame, Gary.

What are they going to do? Bring up AHL players? Don’t think so. Without our boys, the league collapses. It’s no more. You think the owners are going to burn their own house down to make a point? You think Gary Bettman is going to last if Donald Fehr refuses to negotiate so long as he is the commissioner? Somehow, the media is under this impression that the owners have nothing to lose. Let me tell you something. They have everything to lose. It’s the players with the options, not the suits.

Do your job, Donald. Short term pain, long-term gain. Bring out your inner asshole and have them spittin’ blood.

Categories: Non-L.A. Kings News Offerings

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42 replies

  1. Brutal… Couldn’t agree more… TheOwners deal was insulting. And anything The Players have countered with was not even read. The Players have offered a cut to their share while Bettman’s salary has doubled since last lockout?? Don’t know may Fans who come to see Bettman..

  2. Bring it on. Bettman the two face rat. The owners colluding behind the rat.

    I am checking how I can watch European Games, Russian, and other USA and Canadian games. Drinking my beer and eating my nachos at home doing that will be just dandy for me.

  3. Bobby.. first of all it sounds like you should let it be known you would lend your services to the players if that is possible.. secondly it was a bit hard to get your points due to your anger expressed in a bit over the top colorful language.. I get your point.. I want to hear any and all ongoings. You are Angry.. I am past anger and just plain old SAD.. (and feel a cronic depression that has invaded me.. I love this Game so much!)
    GO KINGS GO!!!

    • I read it. They seemed to think that it was mainly the owners, but not entirely. Not to the extent of Bobby’s take on things. At least that’s how I read it.

  4. Hear! Hear!

    Shut it down and tank the drama.
    Shit can the trapezoid- if your goalie ain’t good enough get another one
    Shit can the Instigator- if they want to go let ’em go
    Shit can that piece of crap shootout- an extra point for a skills competition is pure bull shit

    And, of course, shit can the salary cap.

    Fuck the owners

    Since this lock out is reality, the players need to go for it now. We, the fans, will survive

  5. Ready? OK, here I go…..
    Hi you guys. Hope you’re all doing well. Bobby, groovin to read your pieces again.
    As for my opinion on the whole mess…… that’s it…. it’s a mess. Nothing more to add for the moment. I’ll leave that to the others.
    Bye for now.

  6. I understand the point you’re making amidst everything else, but you don’t actually want to see the salary cap gone, personally, do you?

  7. I wish I could believe you, but how many owners are dependent on their hockey franchise? Seems to me that there are three kinds of owners – the bankrupt, the ones who own a franchise for amusement and the ones who use it as a write-off. Most of the owners make their money elsewhere and own a hockey franchise because in the world of the 1%, owning a sports franchise is the equivalent of us owning iPhones. We don’t need them and our lives would go on fine without them, but we buy them so we can fit in and be cool.

    The owners hearts don’t bleed for the NHL like ours do.

    I’m calling your bluff.

    • I’m gonna somewhat disagree. Anyone able to buy a sports franchise has gotta have an ego larger than King Kong. They don’t want to buy a loser and keep it a loser. They’ll be the laughing stock of every cocktail party. Their buddies will constantly heckle them by saying shit like “Hey, maybe you should make a movie outta your team. Maybe that’ll motivate em.” Or “I’m pulling for your team this year but 70-1 to win the cup is a tough pill to swallow.” No dude with loads of cash and assets is gonna take that shit sitting down.

      They want to have a successful franchise just like everything else they’ve done where it’s gained them success. If the owners got a sack with nuts and a swinging dick, then the competition comes out and his hockey club is gonna be better than all other 29 clubs so they can kiss his ass and he can walk around claiming that he’s the SC champs.

      Even though their hearts may not bleed NHL their egos will and that’ll drive them nuts.

      • I don’t think they are ambivalent about having a loser, although it sure didn’t seem to bother Anschutz for oh, a decade.

        • Dude if Anschutz didn’t give a crap why did he break the bank last season for Richards, Doughty, Carter and whoever else? Fire TM in December? Let go of all those high ranking pick spots? The dude wants to win.

          • Well despite the fact that Anschutz had little to nothing to do with any of those things besides hiring Lombardi and approving a budget, it’s Leiweke who really cares about winning, and he always has cared, he just never knew what the hell to do and Anschutz was happy to have his stadium so he didn’t get too upset when the Kings were terrible for nearly a decade.

            We are talking about money here though, not winning. The poor teams care about the money distribution so they have a better shot at winning, so that they can stop hemorraging money. You are responding to points I never really made. This was about the owners’ hearts not bleeding for the NHL. That has nothing to do with winning, they care about winning, but winning to them is a positive number and a color – black. They don’t all LOVE hockey and need to watch it for their year not to suck like ours will without it.

          • I hear what you’re saying. Outta the 30 teams I’m sure there’s gotta be some that do love the sport and then others that see it as another business venture. I know money’s a huge factor and it has to be to survive. That’s what’s so frustrating to me is how they couldn’t come to terms.

            I was thinking ok they’ll take a break for a week and think it over and then come back and bang the shit out and the season’ll start a couple weeks later than normal. But I don’t think that’s gonna happen. Kovalchuck just went to go play for the KHL. If that doesn’t say the season’s in the shitter I don’t know what does.

          • While I’m not particularly hopeful of the season starting soon, I do take umbrage with your usage of Kovalchuk as a determining factor in this conclusion. I think Kovalchuk has already to be a poor judge when it comes to choosing the right side.

          • ‘They don’t all LOVE hockey and need to watch it for their year not to suck like ours will without ‘
            That sums it up :(
            GO KINGS GO!!! WWTC!!!

          • Yeah he wins.. and now ALL of his holding are up for sale!!! to put it all into getting a football team for LA or something else we have not been made aware of. Til I know this makes me bitter. I do know this. Once Again the onlyPeople who Truely Love our Boys are the Fans!
            GO KINGS GO!!!

      • “They don’t want to buy a loser and keep it a loser.” ? Donald fucking Sterling

    • Ouch Surly ..that hurt. Because what you said makes sense ..more fuel for my depressiom :(
      GO KINGS GO!!!

  8. pique1    /pik/ Show Spelled [peek] Show IPA verb, piqued, piqu·ing, noun
    verb (used with object)
    1. to affect with sharp irritation and resentment, especially by some wound to pride: She was greatly piqued when they refused her invitation.
    2. to wound (the pride, vanity, etc.).
    3. to excite (interest, curiosity, etc.): Her curiosity was piqued by the gossip.
    4. to arouse an emotion or provoke to action: to pique someone to answer a challenge.
    5. Archaic . to pride (oneself) (usually followed by on or upon ).

    Your fit of pique was peaking just when I peeked in at your article. Now if I could only learn how to make a link in an article I would know something valuable.

    The owners have, among others, one significant advantage: career length. Owners just get old, but as long as they live they can still be owners. Players only can play for a very limited time; their careers peak at an early age.

    This difference is among the contributing factors to the inherent, or at least potential and/or likely weakness of solidarity among the players. Does a Shane Doan want to lose the last year or three of his career sitting out? Do Dustin Brown and Anze Kopitar want to lose the fact of being the third youngest team having already won a Cup and room to improve ahead, while trying to set a precedent to make the league’s practices “healthy” for the next generation? Do the guys that just bought the houses and set up their kids in schools want to migrate to Europe long-term? Can we just plant some dope in Malkin’s suitcase and be done with his skull-elbowing bitch ass of a person?

    Eventually, I fear the players would yield, partly because they are greater in number and the larger the herd the more likely the strays (bull reference for the ex-bull-rider in you), partly because they know their biological performance-clock is ticking, and partly because they are decent people who would tire of arguing and loathe acting obstinately.

  9. Excellent post – totally agree, let the players do the walking. Kings won the Cup, I can live with no hockey for a couple years, save me lots of cash too flying out to see the games.

  10. For whatever it is worth, the fat cat owner buys a sports franchise for lets say $300,000.000.00. Then hold on for a few years, and then flip it for $600,000,000.00.

    Biggest ponzi scheme there was ever invented, and it is all legal.

    But, the owners want to nickel and dime the players, when they have their mega bucks empire, limos, jets, sweetheart deals with taxpayers, palatial arenas, with “luxury boxes”, politicians in their hip pockets, all kind of perks, back scratching, and oh yes, as many ladies of the night they care to imagine and partake.

    Give me a break.

    Then they search around for their hired gun hitman, assassin, to do their dirty work, Bettman the bandito from from all places Queens, Na Yuck Citi.

    Bottom line, this movie has played before and it ain’t any good watching it another time when you know the ending by now.

    See ya later owners until 2013, and don’t let the door you all on the way out.


  11. The days where sitting down and talking through points being a viable solution for just about anything in this country seem to have past. A better use of the money one might use flying to these talks? Hockey players come from ALL walks of life, it stands to reason some of them came from rough upbringings. Someone must know someone. Hurt Bettman. Not in the metaphorical, beat him till he blacks out, wake him up by cutting off a finger, and then explain to him it is his one and only warning, after which he will be taken out of the equation and his family will be held responsible. Sound like a scene from an action film? Sure. But I would rather watch that film than have the theater closed in my town.

  12. Where has it been said that the players are willing to take a cut? All I’ve ever read is they haven’t backed down from their 57%. They said they want a guaranteed 1.8 billion no matter what happens. That’s, well, that’s 57%. No other major sport is even close to that cut.

    I’m not saying I’m a fan of the owners because they are fuck heads too, but the players do share some responsibility.

    My proposal is 50-50 split with better revenue sharing for the lower teams while moving 2 teams to better markets.

    It’s my belief that it is not the players fault for Bettman insisting on having franchises in shitty places and then expecting the players to pay for his mess. But at the same time, 18 teams out of thirty lost millions last year. This is with record profits. So the players need to realize they need to give a little if they want to take a little.

    Granted, owners do have sources of income that are HRR:
    Luxury boxes/premium seats only count for 65% of HRR
    Parking 70% of HRR
    Concessions .. I forgot the number, I think 65% count for HRR.
    If a city pays a club to play in their city, all of that money counts against HRR. However, if a city gives money to a team to build a stadium, all of what that entails does not count against HRR. 0%.

    In Bettman’s defense, they did want to start the negotiations a long time ago but the players union obviously didn’t want that.

    It’s a mess fro boh sides. Fuck them both.

    • You make some legit points, but one thing you cite “[i]n Bettman’s defense” I gotta take issue with:

      He made a big deal about the PA delaying the start of negotiations — which, according to Bettman, could have begun last November if it hadn’t been for Fehr’s constant postponements.

      Yet, if memory serves, the owners only regarded REAL negotiations to have begun when they themselves furnished their list of demands in August 2012. If the owners were so hot to trot, why didn’t they lay out those demands back in November? How, exactly, were the players to “respond” to demands they’d never seen?

      As far as I’m concerned, Bettman’s criticism of Fehr’s “delays” and “stalling tactics” is pure bullshit — no: it’s pure MOUSEshit, since I get the impression that Bettman actually believes it himself.

      • I give you that. That’s true. I agree that it’s Bettman’s way of trying to be the “we tried” guy.

        I just don’t remember ever hearing the nhlpa ever trying to negotiate during that time.

        I don’t hold too much credence into that though.

  13. In bigger news, the Kings are for sale (along with Staples Center, etc.).

    Oh man… could be good, could be bad.

    Interesting stuff. I don’t really have an opinion one way or the other. I was never the biggest fan of Lieweekly, but damn, “he did just win the Stanley Cup.”

    • Well, I should say, all of AEG is for sale.

    • The sale of AEG likely will not affect Leiweke’s status as President/CEO of AEG, our (Stanley Cup Champion) Kings, Staples Center, etc.

      Leiweke and the rest of the board of directors signed long term contracts with AEG just before Anschutz’s intention to sell AEG went public. New incoming owners would have to buy out the contracts of any of the board members they didn’t want around, and given Leiweke’s track record as of late, and what his pet project LA Live has done to Downtown LA, it seems pretty likely he’ll be going anywhere.

  14. I guess I am the only one that agrees with the owners. They are the owners for a reason. They are absolutely entitled to make whatever they wanna make. Players are employees/entertainers. Thats what they do. They get paid to go out there and entertain us, thats the reality. If any of you out there agree with the players, I suggest you go up to the owner of the company you work for and tell him he needs to share more of his money with you or you quit. See how that works out for you. No different than a union strike, crybaby fukin workers that cant appreciate their job. How about that 2004 lockout, because of a fukin salary cap? Thousands upon thousands of people lost jobs because they had a problem with a salary cap – possibly the best idea to come to hockey to balance this shit out so we arent like clown ass baseball. 100% players fault we had a lockout in 2004-2005. They look at it like if they give in now, they will have no leverage in the future. We’ll they didn’t give in 2004-2005, they finally did the right thing by accepting a cap. Moral of the story: go out there and do your damn job. Take your 48% and stfu and dance for me on the ice. You don’t like it, don’t play, and don’t come back either. Wipe this league clean and bring some guys out here that play for the love of the game. Give me minimum wage and I’ll go out there every night at the Staples Center and give it everything that I got, and will never ever complain. Lets show the owners a little more respect, they are your boss. Is there ANYONE out there that agrees with me?

  15. No. There’s no one who agrees with you. And no one should.

    If the owners could get away with paying minimum wage to the poor schnooks out there on the ice who risk getting physically fucked up — evidently just to amuse you with their “entertainment value” — then they’d do it. But what the fuck? You tell us you’d do it for minimum wage. Just for love of the game. The only problem is that you can’t play the game worth shit, and the guys who are making their millions just happen to be the best players in the world. Gee, I’d take minimum wage to play the Bach Chaconne at the Disney Center. Of course, I don’t know one end of a violin from another. But I’d do it for the love of music.

    This isn’t eight years ago. The issues here are different than they were during the last lockout. The current apportionment of hockey-related revenues — the 57%-43% we’ve heard so much about — didn’t come into being because of players’ greed. It was the owners — and only the owners — who divvied up the swag that way. They set the numbers. They set the rules for computing those numbers.

    Don’t confuse economic power — which the owners certainly have over the players — with any sort of moral right. As far as I’m concerned it’s the owners who are the fucking crybabies. They set up the salary cap system, they set up the player-owner apportionment of revenues, and they set up specific rules AGAINST circumventing the cap, including explicit rules against protracted contracts, without even asking the players the time of day. The players then received the CBA on a take-it-or-leave-it basis. So stop looking at this lockout as some sort of episode of player greed. They’re not pounding on the boss’ door asking for more. They’re just asking the bosses to take back less.

    And now that the NHL is turning some serious money — more, in fact, than it ever received in its history — the owners are falling all over each other to see how much more they can fuck out of the players. Their basic theme is, “When we first laid out the apportionment of HRR, we really intended to stick with it. But now that we see just how much dough we’re making, we feel a little different. Oh . . . and by the way . . . you remember those provisions we put into the CBA about players’ rights? You know, players’ rights to arbitration? Well, we wanna change that, too. And we gotta stop all these Goddamn ten-year contracts. We want something really different. Instead of allowing a player to sign for ten years, we wanna extend entry-level contracts to five years, then stack another five years on top of that before the spoiled brats get to be unrestricted free agents. You see? OUR ten years is a lot better than YOUR ten years. For one thing, we can get a player at a fraction of what he costs us now. You see, we’re a lot more valuable to the community than mere hockey players. We’re BUSINESSMEN. We have a right to fuck our workers. But, of course, that doesn’t go both ways. It’s only capital that’s entitled to make use of a free market. NOT labor.”

    Fuck the owners. Fuck them up the ass. Keep on fucking them. Even when they’re right, they’re wrong.

    I know I’m really gonna miss hockey this year. But somewhere inside me is a voice that says, “C’mon, players. Just once. Just this once, let these fat cocksuckers know that YOU are what the game is about. Take your show to Europe, to Russia, to Boyle Heights. Go anywhere to play, and take every nickel you can fuck out of the owners. After all, making money for what you do is your right.”

    • you have some valid points. I am mostlly just frustrated. I feel that if a side COULD make this possible, it would be the players at this point. Just want to see some damn hockey. Sickens me at how many people are losing their jobs over this too. I don’t even shop at walmart cuz it bothers me how they don’t even offer their employees full time + benefits – I can’t support a league that is responsible to thousands of lost jobs.

  16. My feeling is that the owners are apart of their community in the sense that they establish arenas and go the whole nine yards to recruit players, workers and then adjoining businesses, bars, cabbies, limo services, parking lot people, vendors, a whole infrastructure is established in and around the team. There is gobs of money floating in and out of the whole enterprise.
    Then there are the communication people (radio, papers, TV, cable), along with food suppliers and all the other services that go into the arena and franchise. The owners extend all kinds of time, effort, and costs to cultivate fans, along with their whole infrastructure of scouts, travel, hotels for road trips, and the entire national media.
    The owners are the foundation for a huge empire of sports, not only locally, but bi-nation wise, US and Canada too. This is international stuff going on here.
    The point being they have a duty, maybe not so much legal, but goodwill and moral to the community and the two nations, to put on the show. That is, they put on the performance and fulfill the whole idea of the advancement for the greater good of everybody. The PEOPLE want the show to go on since we were sucked into the sport and oriented our selves to make ourselves ready for the show. Now, it is really bait and switch.

    So, I see it as the owners as the bad guys, and it is as simple as that. If one or more owners feel that are getting screwed under proposed deals, then, fine, sell the franchise to some other fat cats that feel they can live with the contracts. To me, I don’t care about the arguments back and forth and spats about greed, or cheating, or lies, or deceptions, or even fairness issues. My premise is just more basic, which if if you put your tit into the ringer, you live with it. The owners built this all up and they produce the show or bail out and sell the franchise. If you cannot sell the franchise, whatever, then, tough luck, still, the show goes on. I also want to see taxes paid for all the economic activity that goes into this whole sport. We have a ton of bills to pay for all of the governments, and we need the bread circulating to get this country growing with better times everywhere for the good of everybody.

    Besides, we already know that some day the new CBA will be agreed upon and the sport will resume. Therefore, the two sides get the job done, cut out the B.S., and get the show up and running.

  17. Who cares what you have to say. You’re just a left-wing extremist psycho. Go pitch a tent with the other loser “Occupiers” and shit in a bucket. Oh, and don’t vote this November. You moron liberals have done enough damage to this once great nation.

    • Hi there, my name is Jacob. You must be lost, and scared. Do you have a phone? I’ll be happy to call your mother for you, she must be worried sick, wondering how you got out of your cage. What’s that? No cell phone, huh. They haven’t made their way to your corner of Tagg Flats, Oklahoma, you say? Then how did you end up in the city? It must be intense for you, all the lights, the commerce, civilized society. Here, let me buy you a meal, you look hungry. Look, you hold it like this, it’s called a fork.

      Now, I’m not sure what to do with you. You could come with me, I guess. I’m on my way to a hockey game. Hockey. It’s a sport, played on ice with sticks and a puck. Your brother’s name is Puck? Like from Shakespeare? He was a playwright, nevermind. Hockey though, you’re gonna love it. It’s fast, elegant, exhilarating, and the team we’re going to see is called the Kings. They’re champions. Yes, like Dale Earnhardt, just less dead.

      Hey listen, if you’re good, I’ll get you a beer at the game. It’s OK, I won’t tell anyone. Oh… You’ve had beer before? Mixes well with breast milk? Ew, you poor thing. Maybe I won’t take you back to your mother at all. You stay right there, I’m calling the pound. Everything’s going to be just fine.

    • Hahahahaha! I’ve been gone for awhile and to come back to such humor is awesome. Thanks for the laugh, Sucks!

    • Nice rant. As off topic rants go, it was a beauty. And I’m not liberal. I am a libertarian.

  18. Hey, do the Monarchs have any TV coverage on I-net?

  19. All I know is last time there was a lockout it really sucked not to have NHL hockey for a year and a half. The only thing making it bearable this time is that we are the mother fucking Stanley cup champions bitches. Fuck yeah. Bask in the glow!


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