Have you heard the news? The NHL news? The NHL, Bill Daly, cancellation of all the games through October 24 news?

“We were extremely disappointed to have to make today’s announcement. The game deserves better, the fans deserve better and the people who derive income from their connection to the NHL deserve better.

We remain committed to doing everything in our power to forge an agreement that is fair to the players, fair to the teams and good for our fans.

This is not about ‘winning’ or ‘losing’ a negotiation. This is about finding a solution that preserves the long-term health and stability of the League and the game.

We are committed to getting this done.”

Years ago, I was bitten by a radioactive vagina. It came out of nowhere and attacked me. While the experience was harrowing, it did give me a superpower I did not expect – the ability to see through bullshit. Now, when someone says X but they really mean Y, I can flesh it out. It has served me well in life. I read Bill Daly’s words and from within came the heartfelt intentions…

“Fucking players haven’t broken yet and we are extremely disappointed. That’s why we are here, to tell you that. The owners deserve better, Bettman deserves better, I deserve better. We don’t give a damn about the players or you, the fans. They’re slaves and you’re sheep. When you whine, all we hear is baaaa.

We remain committed to doing everything in our power to break the union and force an agreement that is unbalanced, places the entirety of the burden on the players, is fair to us and fucks the rest.

This is about winning. It’s all that matters. This is about using draconian and bullying tactics, age-old negotiation strategies built on the foundation of intimidation and undue coercion and finding a way to penetrate the players with a dick big enough for an elephant.

We are committed to getting this done.”