“Please Come Back, Oh Hockey, Please Come Back…” Country Song

“County music? Is the song about trucks?”

“No, no, it’s about the dude’s dog.”

“Idiot, it’s about how she broke his heart so he broke her jaw…”

You don’t like country music? I grew up with it. I was a bull riding, beer drinking, fight picking, truck driving, the dumber the better girl lovin’ son o’ bitch…and just because I wore boots and the occasional cowboy hat didn’t mean I couldn’t kick your ass. ‘Cause I could. You may think, “bull riding?” That’s right. Big, mean, horns and ready to mess you up…and they did once in a while.

So when a Kings fan sent over the following video of a country hockey lockout song, I had to listen to it. And if I had to listen to it, then you have to listen to it.

Yes, his voice is a bit puss’ like, the lyrics could have been written at a short Dairy Queen stopover, and some parts of the video range from embarrassing to, well, down right stupid. If you expected Chris LeDoux (God bless him), you ain’t gettin’ him. Instead, you’re getting…Brett Kissel.

So, I’m a little tempted to write my own Country song about this lockout…

After seeing my Kings lift the Cup
My season of joy is all fucked up
I sit and dream about the coming day…

I’m back and home with you all
As we watch that banner raised up tall
How I hope and wish and for that game I pray…

What do you think? Not a bad start, off the top of my head. Time to break out the guitar…



Categories: Non-L.A. Kings News Offerings

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5 replies

  1. The best part of country music is you can take any dam subject and make a mega hit. So why not a song about the mean ass owners stealing and plotting and conniving to push the players over the ice cliff and sequester them with deficits and cut backs with extra revenue and closing their loopholes. Then throw in a chorus about:

    “Those rascal owners ain’t goin to push us off that ice cliff and we ain’t going to take their bull crap no more until 2014 when the fans vote for us to come home from Russia”

  2. I call bullshit. Let’s have some photographic proof of the boots, truck AND the bull or it didn’t happen. Just sayin’.

  3. Thanks, my ears are broken now!

  4. Boly shit that was bad! By the sweaters, it looks like it came from Edmonton so, well, ya know. At least I saw one Kings sweater in there! So it wasn’t all that bad….
    Pretty bad though.

  5. And by “Boly Shit” I meant “Holy Shit”.

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