1. Jonathan Bernier “just wants to play”. John Hoven (aka the “Mayor”…not the obtuse one from LA, the hockey one) first gave us the Bernier quote yesterday via his @MayorNHL Twitter about Bernier’s desire to play (which we all knew) but which preceded this beauty, “…hopefully Suttsy can squeeze me in for a few.” Suttsy? Yikes. Even our reader JT Dutchy may agree it is best not to refer to Darryl Sutter as “Suttsy”, especially if you want to play. That made me reminisce about my initial reaction when I heard Jonathan Bernier had allegedly asked for a trade. I didn’t think then that he would be traded and I still don’t.

What do we do? Well, “we” sit and watch. As for Dean Lombardi, he has to decide whether Martin Jones is ready because I am pretty sure there are zero teams out there that will pick up the phone and call Deano with a “hey, I have a quality backup goaltender with NHL experience that I will gladly trade to you for your quality backup goaltender with NHL experience.” Given Bernier’s limited experience, that scenario is filed under “fantasy.”

And that boys and girls is why I don’t believe Jonathan Bernier is going anywhere before camp unless Dean can get good value. Some have suggested, “trade him for a second round pick.” First, he was a first round pick and now he is a first round pick with some NHL experience so to trade that first round pick for a second round pick is dumb. His value is a quality forward to defensive prospect or, alternatively, a first round pick from a mid tier team. Second, if he was going to go for a second round pick, a player (perhaps a young prospect with moderate potential) would come back the other way. But we don’t need any of that. We need a quality backup goaltender for the 2012-2013 season.

I am done writing about this. All this did is make me want to write more insulting things about French Canada. Your turn to comment.

I am glad Dean Lombardi agrees with me that Bernier is not going anywhere, at least not yet.

2. Brian Burke may suck as a GM but, man, can he deliver a zinger! When Canadian media pundit and general troll Steve Simmons…well, just read this from Puck Daddy.

Burke’s trademark bluster was visible all throughout the brief press conference, maybe even cranked up a notch because he was no longer the GM of the Maple Leafs, and because, clearly, he was angry about it. When asked by Steve Simmons about whether he’d have a hand in assembling the next U.S. Olympic team,” Burke looked right at the Toronto Sun columnist and said, “That’s the best part about today, Steve, is that I probably don’t ever have to talk to you again.”

PLEKOW! Loved it. There is a video in the PD article.

And I couldn’t resist:

Tweet to Steve Simmons

3. Back on JB, I was curious and so I looked up Jonathan Bernier’s stats in Germany. Here is the link to the Heilbronner Falken site so you can see them for yourself.

Oh? What’s that? You don’t speak German. I charge $95.00 per hour for translation from German to English, with no guarantees of accuracy. Come on, you can figure it out with a little “compete”…

4. Can you imagine if the MOU (Memorandum of Understanding) that is pending completion between the NHL and NHLPA becomes a MOM? That’s Memorandum of Misunderstanding for those slow on the uptake on this brisk but beautiful Southern California day. Greg Wys…Whys…ah, fuck it.

Tweet with Greg Howeveryouspellhisname

No MOU, no schedule. No schedule, no games…can.you.imagine?

5. Man, this Bernier thing is like a 5’10″ blonde with big boobs and long legs, I cannot get off it. How much ice time will Bernier get? Well…

Sutter said Thursday that he will again rely heavily on Quick, but you’ve got to admire Bernier’s optimism in the face of not only Quick’s dominance but the 10-year, $58-million extension the Kings gave Quick soon after they won the Stanley Cup.

“It’s always hard to know. Even them on top they don’t know what to expect,” he said of team executives. “And with a short season like that, with a lot of games [in a short span], it’s hard to tell what’s going to happen in the future.”

6. Surly called me and asked me if I was going to attend the Meet a King, Tip a King, Greet a King, Stand In Line Forever Just to Get Two Signatures from a King thing today. I told him no. Know why? I don’t give a damn about autographs. Do you? When they have a “skate with the Kings” event, I am in.

7. Speaking of Surly…shit, I forgot what I was going to write.

8. …

All I could think about was Carter and Richards double teaming that chick on the ice in the first annual Surly & Scribe All Star Game.

9. He is missing! Send out the Cookie Robots!

for those who didn’t get that, you probably don’t have children

10. Just remembered what I was going to write about Surly. I decided it’s not that important.