Drunk by 9am

Surly and I are a couple of years apart. A couple by dog standards. A couple like that term is defined in Utah…times two. But either because of his maturity (it isn’t his maturity) or my lack thereof (it’s partly that), we click.

Tonight, he called me up to chat and chat we did. He asked me what time I am planning on getting there on Saturday for the game.

Me: “8am”

Him: “Holy shit, why so early?”

Me: “Game is at noon and I will not let anything get in the way of me ODing on hockey. I plan to be there when the Yard House opens, I plan to get drunk and have an amazing time. And you should be thanking me because that means when you arrive, you have a table.”

Him: “Thank you”

Me: “You’re welcome. What time will get you there?”

Him: “Ten thirty or so.”

I may be alone in this but I consider Saturday to be more than just a hockey game. It’s not even the game when the banner will be raised, even though it is and will be. It’s not the start of the 2013 season (which sounds weird without a year preceding it) even though that is factually correct.

Saturday is a 14-year-old boy whose pants are unzipped by the senior cheerleader, a devout Muslim who dies and actually gets to hook up with 72 virgins, it’s Nirvana, validation that three decades of unconditional love was not for not and for the die-happy moment for which we have lived.

It’s for me.

It’s for you.

It’s for the story we will tell our children, by which time we will have won a few.

No dry eyes. No sober heads.

Maybe it’s me. I hope not. I hope it’s you. I know it’s Surly, it’s just the fuck can’t wake up before 10am unless there is a threat of imminent physical or financial harm. They haven’t made an English word to describe it. Unless the word for Iamgoingtofuckingexplodefromexcitementandmaygetsomeonyou is out there.

It’s less than 72 hours away.

I may lose it.

I may be drunk by 9am.

Categories: L.A. Kings News

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17 replies

  1. Bobby,

    You are the shit.

    That is all.

  2. I had to lie to my boss to get Saturday off so with could stay home and watch it. I wish I could make it to the game but ill be on my couch in my sweater and hat yelling at my TV.

  3. Bobby, if you have some LA King fan cop buddies, get a free pass business card for your wallet just in case while walking from the Yard House to Staples LAPD don’t pick you up for DIP. We need you to make inside Staples where it is the safest place in the world to be booze high. As for me, got my tic and in line when the door opens at Staples. Kings have had a whole lot of time to put on a heck of a show, and your enthusiam is well placed.

  4. Yeah whatever. Lets see them do it again to prove it was no fluke.

  5. Oh yeah, hey! Did anyone who watched the Kings practice today think it was funny when Jim Fox asked Dean about Stewart and Dean talked about how important it is to get draft picks and didn’t mention Stewart at all? I think we may see a Toffoli sighting soon enough.

    • Funny you mention this because I was scratching my head as they let go free their #1 pick. If so important, then why let them go for free.

      • Dino didn’t give up a first for free. He built upon it. Stuart was also a first round selection, to which Dino added two more picks…brilliant! :)

        Speaking of practice, are the yellow arches on our new practice jerseys driving anyone else crazy?

        Welcome back Kings’ fans. I’ve missed you.

        Has anyone witnessed Toffoli during the first few days of camp? If, so, how is he looking?

  6. My sentiments…exactly! See ya at the game!

    PS: Where the fuck has Surly been! He has been so quiet lately. I hope his energy is there on Saturday!

    • To my mind, until the Kings are playing again, there really isn’t much to talk about.

      And my energy will probably be there… But don’t hate me… It will be in another section. My family wanted to go to the game so I got a group of 4 tix in 334 I think so I could sit with them. Of course 2 days after I bought the tickets the entire row in front of me in 315 went on stubhub for just a few bucks more than I paid for 334.

  7. Lets raise the banner with our solo cups raised high. I’m going to have a blast, and not only drink a beer for myself, but one for my son who’s looking down from heaven with a huge smile on his face. RIP Tanner!

  8. By the Grace of the Hockey Gods this Incredibly Lucky Bitch is Going!!!!!!!!!!
    How I can concentrate on Anything is beyond me..wish I was rich enough for a woman servant right now..drove right past my freeway exit going to work….Sat cannot get here soon enough…Think I will do
    Bloody Marys..Beer in the am sounds a bit ick..
    GO KINGS GO!!!

  9. Bobby just wear a name tag the says “Hello My Name is Al-Kee Hall”….oh that was bad!

    So freaking excited about tomorrow…I am in tears now at my desk!

  10. This will be a season opener like no other – the first as Stanley Cup Champions. Bringing the Holy Grail of Hockey into our house, revealing our championship banner, reveling in a glory that we as Kings fans have not tasted before. All the years of pain and torment as we watched lesser teams such as Anaheim, Carolina, and Tampa Bay raise the Cup. All of that can be forgiven. We are the champions now. Its our Cup to lose. Our Cup to defend.

    Bring the noise. Bring the passion. Leave such an impression in Staples that when the Clippers play that night you can still hear ‘LETS GO KINGS’ echoing in the rafters. We’re the Mother Sutting Stanley Cup Champions!


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