Kings @ Oilers Game Thread

Scribe thinks I’m panicking. Scribe also wishes he had my good looks, so he often likes to pretend what he’s thinking is what I’m thinking, hoping for some sort of reciprocal thought-to-looks transference.

Want to know how much I’m panicking?

I think the Kings will lose tonight. And that’s fine.

Matt over at Life In Hockeywood asked me and a few other nutbags to participate in a prediction panel this season for each game.

Here’s what I told him:

Score: Oilers 2, Kings 1 in OT

Reason: Ok so I know I’m a big jerk off for predicting that the Kings will lose. If I’m a jerk off, well, make it so and jerk me off. I think the Kings will lose because my gut tells me they will dig themselves something of a small hole to start this season before coming back with a vengeance. Tonight will be a closer game though. The Oilers will score first, in the first period or early in the second. The Kings will come back on the power play and tie it up. Then we will either lose it in overtime or in the Shootout. I know it’s shitty of me to predict a loss, particularly the kind that makes you more angry than you usually are at your boss, but don’t get upset with me, blame yourself. I’m mostly predicting this loss because I believe the hockey gods want to spite you. The ride is never all the way up and winning the Cup being the top of a long roller coaster, you’ve got a ways to fall before you can rise again. Everyone will panic because we are 0-3, Kings ticket exchange will flare up with thousands of seats looking to be sold at a discount, and then on Saturday, BAM! A dominating win.

No one on the Oilers is worth getting riled up for. The Avalanche? Please, what a group of guppies. The Chicago Blackhawks used to upset me, but then we all realized beggars are sad and pathetic. We need to look someone really disgusting in the eyes and say “hey bud, what’s your problem?” And then give him a real problem. Doan, what we need is Doan. The hockey gods may spite us now, but they’ll spite him too. The Kings don’t win a game until they get to piss off Shane Doan doing it.

You can find the rest of the predictions (turns out I’m not the only jerk off) here.

I apologize for not being full of cream and sugar. Well, maybe cream.

I suppose these prediction panels will go on for another 45 games. If you find them amusing, I’ll keep posting them here.

Once again I sadly can’t watch the game live. I’ll fast forward through my DVR at midnight when I get home from the Muse concert at Staples.

Categories: L.A. Kings News

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26 replies

  1. I don’t know, but after the hoopla pre-game show last Saturday, I am in this kind of funk where my juices are not rived up yet to even bother to predict the game’s outcome. What is worse, when they lost the first two games, it was like “okay the boys are not yet gung ho yet” and so why should I be. Their funk is rubbing off on me or vice versa or both.
    I have my Saturday’s white light baton and mini Cup Banner sitting next to me by my TV recliner, and even my funk is so bad I don’t want to turn on the light and wave my banner.
    If this condition does not improve soon, I will need to talk to a shrink and see if there are some anti-funk pills that are blessed by the hockey Gods or something.
    In the mean time, TRY TO WIN KINGS TRY TO WIN!

  2. Kings will win! I don’t know what you’re talking about. Calgary destroyed them yesterday and the Kings will prolonge their pain. I think Quick comes on more focused.

    One thing though, I’m really interested to see Yakupov play. Is he really that awesome? That’s going to be interesting.

  3. yess!! Jeff Spicoli references are always the best!!! You cant read that quote with out saying it in your head just like Sean Penn did… “Hey bud… whats your problem??” hahaha

  4. Fuck that. Fuck you surly,
    Kings are gunna wax that ass 3-1 its going to be dominant. Pussy.
    love, josh

  5. Venting at the PP….damnittohell..can we not find the mother whoring net..I know their goalie is 8′ tall but damn..and Richards better wake up or he will be joining Pens..ahhhh
    Heard Greener did well today..let’s win this one for our Assistant..
    GO KINGS GO!!!

  6. Looks like I’m watching two ECHL teams. I know it’s only the third game, but they look like shit.

  7. Is that the only suit Darryl Evans owns?

  8. Best line so far from the first period from Bob Miller, “There’s Clifford, the King’s leading scorer.”

    Kings better quit playing like a bunch of slapdicks.

  9. Did someone forgot to remove Kompon’s jockstrap from the equipment bag? The powerplay still sucks dong, like Kompon karma is lingering…

  10. Talk abooot odd penalty calls. Can’t remember last time I saw a minor for face off infraction

  11. Our top six look absolutely awful. Even Clifford can’t save them. What the hell is going on?

  12. Maybe they need to grow their playoff beards. At least they are starting to look better than my over 35 league team.

  13. Davis, you suck, nigga.

    • Why is he still in the NHL? I don’t think he could make an Ilanders or Blue Jackets team. But yet he’s playing for the Kings…

  14. Kings better count their blessings. No way Quick could’ve made that save. Bad call. Glad it was in our favor though. Shit! I can’t believe what I’m seeing!

  15. I am impressed, sir.

  16. FUCK!!!! THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!

  17. Well Surly…… no one can say you didn’t call it. If you go ‘O’ fer every game on the PP you’re for sure gonna lose a lot more games than you’re gonna win.

  18. Did anyone else seem to think that Kopi or whoever it was seemed blase on the shot at the empty net? Maybe it was just my link where it seemed that way. This sucks. Now they have to win four in a row just to get to a game over .500 – and in a 48 game season, no .500 team is gonna get in the playoffs. I think we’re the only team that hasn’t won a game yet.
    Stanley Cup to this? Wow.

    • Mike Richards.. his play has not been good at all.. time for him to feel the pine along with Penner.. whatever it takes.. I see no effort.. watch some highlight reel of Trever Lewis and Cliffy.. they are Playing!!
      GO KINGS GO!!!

  19. I’m sure Jamie Kompon is laughing his ass off at this. 0 for the season on the PP. That’s my Kings! I really thought shit like this was going to be a thing of the past for at least a few years.


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