Do you know what I hate about football? Everything. Every fucking thing about this sport.

It’s not just because I am a hockey fanatic. It’s because football is a fraud. You see, baseball at least calls itself America’s pastime. Baseball therefore has the integrity to admit it is designed for lazy fucks who sit around and get fatter on hotdogs and beer while watching grown men throw a ball around a field.

Football on the other hand tries to carry itself as some sort of gladiator sport. Gladiators who are covered from head to toe in defensive gear while exerting about 15 minutes of effort in three hours of time. As one of our readers once tweeted, football was a practical joke everyone was in on except for him.

Enough about 340 pound men with guts running into each other and falling down. Let’s talk about hockey.

Are you a little bit concerned about our Stanley Cup Champions? I will admit that I am. I can’t quite put my finger on it but something is seriously wrong with Mike Richards. I watched him more than any other player last night and he is making an effort to not make an effort. Watching him skate with the puck shows me a player who doesn’t want it. He seems distracted out there, as if he is between appointments and really can’t be bothered with this hockey thing at the moment.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Mike Richards. He was instrumental to our Stanley Cup run and championship. However, I think the off-season has hurt him more than any other player on the team.

Holy shit, does this team miss Willie Mitchell and Matt Greene?

It makes sense after all. Willie and Matt are a critical part of our penalty kill and shutdown defense. I’m not sure the Ducks score 3 of their goals last night if those two are in the lineup. While Jonathan Bernier had an abysmal game, he didn’t get much help from the defense either.

Willie has been cleared to play by the doctors which makes his absence even more unusual. Can’t imagine the doctors would clear him unless they truly believed he was fine. That means Mitchell, subjectively, believes he is not ready. What concerns me most is that Mitchell is not even skating. The whole circumstance behind Mitchell’s knee injury and the minimal facts that have come to light since then lead me to believe that there is something we are not being told.

Speaking of defense, Dean Lombardi must be putting in some serious hours trying to find a band-aid or longer-term solution to the two injuries. If Willie Mitchell’s injury is as serious as I think it is, despite what the doctors state, he may be out for most of the regular season. If he is, Dean Lombardi is, on a temporary basis, panicking. We are not exactly on our way to laying the Western Conference rivals to waste. At this pace, sneaking into the number eight spot isn’t a sure thing. We are behind the Blue Jackets…let that sink in…and second to last place in the conference.

The Kings have to improve and do so quickly. There are plenty of teams ahead of them that have gotten off to a fast start. Failing to make the playoffs would be the worst thing that could happen to this franchise after winning the Stanley Cup. It would kill the maturing process of the casual fans who are progressing toward diehard status and the bandwagon fans who jumped aboard last season.

I want our LA Kings to be the team who draws thousands of fans into every arena around the NHL at every road game. That requires more than one Stanley Cup. That requires consistency and elevation to elite status.

The amount of stroking the San Jose Sharks team get amuses me. It’s as if everyone has forgotten the Sharks’ m.o. How many times has this team had stellar regular seasons, looked like a contender and then skated over their clitoris when it mattered the most during the playoffs? I have been to the puppet show and seen the strings on the fish. Talk to me at the end of the season about these clowns.

This may be the last season the Anaheim Ducks have a chance to do anything of significance. With Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry as unrestricted free agents, common sense would dictate that one of them will walk. Add a Teemu Selanne exit (fucker really is amazing at 58), and the Ducks become questionable at forward. Sprinkle on an already shitty defense and you get a whole lot of…well, shit. On a related note, it’s amusing that Bruce Boudreau has essentially brought his Washington Capitals style of offense to the Ducks. It will be fun to see whether it results in the same degree of success, which is to say, no success at all.

There is nothing interesting about Dallas, Calgary, Columbus, Phoenix, Detroit and Nashville to discuss.

St. Louis on the other hand I like as the favorite in the West and the team I believe has the best chance to win the Cup if our L.A. Kings don’t get their act together. The fact we swept them in the playoffs must have stung. That type of ass kicking leaves scars – the kind you don’t forget and work hard to not repeat.

Wouldn’t it be great if the Vancouver Canucks franchise just died…simply out of principal. Side note, Corey Perry is a Canuck before the start of next season. You heard it here first.

Chicago. Whatever. It won’t last.

The Edmonton Oilers are fun to watch. What will also be fun to watch is a new crop of their players who the Oilers have groomed for longevity asking for trades…you see the sun rise and sun set, you learn the trust it.

You mean signing players to a gazillion freaking dollars in the offseason doesn’t guarantee success? If there is any justice, Craig Leipold will never win a Cup as an owner of the North Stars…yes, they are still the North Stars to me.

Last night, a friend of mine came to the game. He is a Wisconsin boy and grew up as a North Stars fan. He plays hockey and knows the game well. When he came to California and before he and I met, he became a Ducks fan (as a second team, behind Minnesota), pretty much due to geography and living in Orange County. Since he and I met years ago, I have steadily worked on him. First, attending Kings games. Then, he gets a Kings jersey. Next, he watches the road games on TV and I see him wearing a Kings hat on a regular basis. An escalating interest. In the last two seasons, the transition has been steady and positive. The brainwashing positive influence has worked well.

Last night, at the Kings vs. Ducks game, he wore a Kings jersey and proudly so. I bought him a ring.

I am a good friend.

The transition is complete.

I have done the Lord’s work.