Hockey gods, hear this prayer.
But not before I insult you,
Yesterday earned it, mon fraire

What’s this shit you’ve done?
Losing games hard fought
Games we should have won.

Stop tickling Quick
In all the wrong places
You’re giving me a tick
Making me make stupid faces

Ones that say ‘OH!’
And some that say ‘aww’
What are you, a fucking dentist?
Guffaw guffaw

I can’t even rhyme right,
You’re antics have thrown me so
Please let us win tonight
Or Scribe may cut off a toe

But if that’s what it takes
A blood riddled sacrifice
To blow luck on our skates
Here’s my fucking vein,
MAKE RICHARDS PLAY NICE!

I don’t know what else to say
There’s not much I can do
I wore my jersey to work
For some good ol’ joojoo

So hockey gods listen up,
We really need a win
It’s not enough, one Cup
Let domination begin