You Are All Lame

We have some fantastic readers and commenters here at lakingsnews.com. This is a community Bobby and I have enjoyed cultivating. We love meeting those of you who aren’t too creepy at games, various Kings events and hell, even a few random dive bars. We appreciate all the kind words you’ve given us over the years, the beers you’ve bought us and the great hockey conversations we’ve had.

Unfortunately, we recently discovered that all of you are lame. Well, all except for one.

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That would be reader Exiled’s freshly tattooed shoulder. Think it’s fake? Think harder. Turns out Exiled, who is a die hard Kings fan that has to suffer living around Hurricane fans in Raleigh, North Carolina, is the only TRUE Surly & Scribe fan among you and for that he has a Replica Stanley Cup Ring in the mail, on the house.

So you can blame him for revealing to us your unequivocal lameness. Sorry. Not to fret though, we’ll give you a chance to redeem yourselves. I have two replica rings sitting on my coffee table and it has been decided their owners will be determined by a contest. Details to be given soon.

Our goal for this site used to be that we wanted to get locker room access for media scrums and interviews. Priorities change and now that our logo has been paid the highest compliment, there’s only one benchmark for success I have left to conquer with this blog – being asked to sign a woman’s breasts. “Being asked” is an important distinction here, or so the officers have told me.



Categories: L.A. Kings News

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23 replies

  1. Surly and Scribe. May cause infections.

    • Hey Quisp…. you should be happy….
      In Montreal (I’m sure you know) with Habs (or…. Les “Habitants”) up 2-0 on the Islanders.
      Isles win in OT on Hickey’s first career goal. Gotta be happy for the kid. Two of the other three were scored by Moulson. Good night for ex-Kings….. for those who are interested.
      And for those who aren’t….. well…. just carry on reading the other comments.
      Very rad tattoo by the way….Exceptionally well done.

  2. Totally worth it. Surly and Scribe, keep being awesome.

  3. I wonder if the “Dragon eating its own tail” blog sent him anything.

  4. awesome,got me thinking

  5. You pompous asses. You have a retread website format, are disingenuously disingenuous, have zero original insight, and are totally awesome. You guys are and always will be my homepage.

    • Also, Jonathan Bernier is so good, he makes it look like the defense is doing all the work. We could win a Stanley Cup with either goalie. However, all things being equal, I feel Jonathan Bernier is the better goalie. He makes it looks so freaking effortless. Not that I don’t love Jonathan Quick, I do. It’s just that in the long run, I seal Jonathan Bernier’s style is more sustainable.
      On an unrelated note, I also like you guys because you know the difference between “then” and “than.”

    • The only part of that which was offensive was the “retread website” format…since I did all of the website work.

  6. I just got over a 2 week gig with some invading micro-organism that caused me a lot of sleepless nights spewing up mucus, which even Mucinex would be proud of!
    That being said, in between the 24 hours of worshiping the porcelain god known in French as toilet, screaming names such as I O WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, WY OMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNG, I am now healthy enough to go over to my friends home, and get the picture of him and the “ring” you were able to hook him up with.
    Hell, my son might even take us to see Colorado this Saturday, but I am not sure I want to attend this game because the last time the Kings played the Avalanche in an early afternoon game, Kopitar got tangled up with Ryan O’Byrne and tore up his ankle and some other lower portions of his foot and ankle.
    The only reason I might elect to attend would be if I can get to see Matt Duchene before the game.
    Matt played his junior hockey for the OHL Brampton Battalion, and my brother in law’s parents are a billet for the Battalion. I’m seeing if I can meet up with “Dutchy” before the game or after the game since they will we facing the Mickey Mouse Club on Sunday.
    I’ll keep you posted as to if I will be at the Lappy Homecoming game on Saturday!
    Gotta love Lappy! Favorite Lappy moment The French Chef doing some sort of cooking in his kitchen with his Weimaraner and then cooking something that used Gefilte Fish but this was just joke.
    For the non Jewish readers, Gefilte Fish is some mixture of whitefish, matzo meal and fuck knows what else, that I actually enjoy (cold) with some nice khreyn (red horseradish) spread on top of during the holidays!
    Ok now I have to go and nosh me some kiskah!

  7. Title good for my laugh out loud moment at work(break)
    Nice tattoo!
    Breast signing… oh brother..Surly is bored..again.
    Going to Charity Poker Tonight..too bad not vs. suck ducks.
    Will be fun anyway. For Good cause..
    continue on.. may the best of the worst of you get a Ring.
    GO KINGS GO!!!
    WWTC!!!

  8. I take offense to this blog.

    I was lame before he got that tattoo.

  9. You guys crack me the fuck up.

  10. I really like the ink, but I’ll continue waiting for the shirt. I played in the poker tournament last night, and let me tell you, it would have been a perfect place to represent our motley crew with a S&S t-shirt.

  11. what if I have your logo engraved on the metal plate in my head?????
    :o)
    ………………………or not!

  12. Once again the Poker Tourney Fun Time! I am thinking I might try to learn how to really play this game and actually enter the event next year.. maybe.. Had two goals.. To get my Stanley Cup Book signed by whomever I encountered and to see Bob and take a picture of Bob’s Ring. So got some autographs.. Bob did not wear his ring. He had thought it might not be a good idea .. and he was asked quite a few times and then he starting to feeling bad. He is such a nice and accommodating person. He did not play in the Tournament this year. Said he is just not that good a player.He did offer up a card trick he learned at the Magic Castle.. see Kings Vision. They set up a table for the Alumni and King Staff to sit at with Photos to sign for fans and I ended up sitting with Bob for about 2 hours. Did I say I had a Great Time :)
    Spent about 10 minutes talking with Lappy. What a Sweetheart that man is! I had so much fun talking with him I totally forgot I should have taken a picture. What a Dumbass. I can only think there will be another time.
    Everyone who will be at game tomorrow Enjoy!!! Let’s take down those Avalanche…
    GO KINGS GO!!!
    WWTC!!!

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