After having mailed out, I think, 16 Stanley Cup replica championship rings to deserving fans all over the country and several north of the border, there are two left.

I was about to email the next people on my list who wanted to pay the $40 for a ring, when I received an email from Jared.

Jared bought both rings.

That asshole.

But he didn’t buy them for himself. He bought them for you.

That’s right, Jared wanted to ‘sponsor’ my last two rings to go to some out-of-town Kings fans.

“That’s incredibly generous” I said.

“No shit” said Jared.

In fact, its too generous. So we decided there will be a contest.

For those of you still looking to get a ring, or need another for your kid, your friend or your rabid Kings fan dog (get it, rabid fan, rabid dog? I surprise even myself sometimes), you can have one of these rings sent to you completely free (you don’t even pay for shipping or postage). All you have to do is amuse us.

Essentially we will be holding two contests. The first contest is a photo contest. Since we want these rings to go to people who can’t just hop on down to Staples due to geography, we want you take a picture of yourself in your Kings jersey (you better have a Kings jersey) in the location you live. It has to be more than just on a street corner, or in your bedroom (unless the bedroom picture is one awesome photo). We want to see that you are representing the Kings out in the mountains, or the swamps, on the farm or in opposing team infested waters. I can tell you right now, if there are any Kings fans in Vancouver who wear their jersey and a championship hat to a local bar during a Canucks game and show them off (in a manner that will not result in violence, damage to person or property or any crime), to the chagrin of Canucks’ fans, that is a good way to get near and dear to our hearts.

The second contest is more…um… Open. Dealer’s choice. You make the rules. Write us something, take a picture, make a video, do something simple that you just know will amuse us greatly. Keep our interests in mind. Bobby suggested videotaping yourself singing your own rendition of Randy Newman’s “I Love LA”. I suppose you could do that. We encourage showing off whatever talents you have (or those you don’t have, that can be just as amusing). Just know that if you do anything involving that “This is LA” song, not only will you forfeit your entry to the contest, but I may just block your IP from ever visiting the site again (can I do that? I should be able to do that). Again, no crimes, no torts, do not damage persons or property.

You are welcome and encouraged, to enter both contests.

Some legal sounding stuff that you need to read…

By participating in this contest and emailing us whatever your entry is, you are giving us permission to post it on the site, whether that’s a picture of yourself or something you wrote or sang or recorded, etc. So don’t send anything you wouldn’t be ok with us posting here on http://www.lakingsnews.com and/or our twitter/Facebook. You get no compensation and once you send it to us, we own it and all rights to it forever and ever and ever. We have the sole discretion to post it or not. Also, if you are doing anything fucking stupid or illegal, it’s not our fault. Don’t do that. Don’t be an idiot. Don’t do anything illegal or that damages property or injures others or yourself because we won’t post it and you are DQ if you do. You are assuming all risks in whatever the hell you decide to do so don’t do anything remotely dangerous. By entering into this contest, you are releasing us from any liability of any kind. You enter this contest freely and our only involvement is picking two winners and shipping those winners a Kings Stanley Cup Replica Ring free of charge, courtesy of Jared, the very generous Kings fan.

Other shit we have to tell you:

1. The deadline for the contest is 3/30/13. That means I need your entries by then.

2. No more than 2 entries per contestant (that means you can do a photo one and an “open” one if you wish).

3. This is a subjectively judged contest. The winner is solely in my and Jared’s discretion. Bobby wanted it that way because otherwise we will never get to picking a winner.

4. Maximum number of contestants is 50. That means we stop after getting the first 50 people who entered or 3/30/13, whichever occurs first.

5. This is the ring the L.A. Kings gave out to fans at the game against Vancouver and that you can purchase at Staples Center (when they are not sold out). Kings sell them for $25.00.

There, that wasn’t too hard.

Ok…that’s it. You have your instructions. Email all entries to surlyjacob@gmail.com.

Go now, make us proud.