There are a few teams that you hate,
While the Kings you’d like to felate
The Canucks we despise,
Like a woman’s white lies
But both end up harmless to those who will wait.

If a Sedin sat and stared at the stars,
Showing sad freckles that look more like SARS
Well I’d just walk right up,
And say ‘look here’s my Cup’
‘No you can’t touch it you mongoloid fuckwit, it ours.’

But then ol’ Ryan Kesler might say,
‘Hey I make tens of thousands per day
I’m a Vancouver skater,
An American traitor
I’m on the dole while I’m hurt and don’t play.’

There are those who will question our D,
Because it features guys like Ellerby
Though Martinez is skating,
We might still be left waiting
With our dicks in ours hand for a goal from Doughty

My good friend Jaunty Jeff Carter,
Ain’t no Canuck he plays smarter
He doesn’t dive for the calls,
But skates like a man with some balls
And gives such a quick fuck with a puck, you won’t even have time to take off your garter.

Now, I know the complaints that you’ll sow,
‘Surly, these limericks fucking blow!’
Reading them may make all of you blanch,
But they worked against the Avalanche
So shut up and watch the Kings win their sixth in a row.