Two games matter today, and perhaps the most important one will not be played by the Kings.
How St. Louis fares against Chicago will determine whether or not home ice is even a possibility for our Kings, and we should know this by the time the puck drops for the Kings game against San Jose.
This will tickle you in places better left unseen, tonight Chicago is sitting… Well, almost everyone. The Blues won’t be seeing Toews, Kane, Hossa, Keith, Seabrook and Hjalmarsson on the ice as the #1 seed does the whole rest and avoid injury thing- because its just been such a long 48 game season.
There’s being safe and smart, and then there is being a team of paranoid pussies. Forgive me for speculating, but the hockey gods do love their irony and they do so hate pussies, so while many Blues fans look at this and say “Yay!”, Kings fans mutter “Fuck” and Chicago fans nod approvingly and let slip a cocky “Nice”, I, on the other hand am now fully confident of two things – the Blues will lose today and Chicago will get knocked out in the first round.
But let’s pretend for a minute like I don’t have a prophetical air that haunts my every whim.
If I have this down correctly (which I probably don’t, I didn’t really work it out, just thought about it in the shower), should St. Louis lose and the Kings win, 4th place is ours, and our opponent at 5th place, either the Blues or Sharks, depends on whether those two teams get a point in their respective losses.
However if St. Louis wins, then we can’t get 4th, but get 5th and face the Blues in the first round if we win our game, or drop to 6th and play Vancouver if we lose. If both us and the Blues lose, then I think we still drop to 6th and play Vancouver, but give the Sharks the 4th spot against the Blues.
I’m sure there are more convoluted possibilities than that depending on loser points and such, but the end result is that we are most likely to play the Blues or Canucks in the first round.
I THINK the only way we play the Sharks is if the Blues lose without getting a loser point, and the Sharks beat us in OT or the shootout, which would give them 4th and us 5th, dropping St Louis to 6th. Or maybe that we play the Sharks no matter what if the Blues lose in regulation and our game goes to OT, regardless of the winner.
Now I’m confused.
Fuck the standings.
All I know for sure if that we have a playoff spot locked up. Sharks, Blues, Canucks, we can and should take them all. The Blues and Canucks have an axe to grind with us and us one with the Sharks, but when I consider each of these teams, playing at their presumed playoff best, we edge all of them out if we play ours. I will say, I would prefer not to play the Sharks, merely because I don’t want to have to deal with that soggy banana dick Raffi Torres head hunting for a minimum of four games.
But enough about thinking ahead, lets think about the present matters at hand.
I plan to get to LA Live by 5pm and watch the Blues game, probably at yard house, maybe ESPN Zone if I’m feeling frisky. Plans will solidify via twitter – @surlierthanthou. I encourage any and all to join me and if he has maintained some semblance of the dangling manhood he so enjoys discussing, Scribe. Let’s end the season and kick off the playoffs correctly, with lots of beer, whiskey and if we’re lucky, tits that don’t belong to our out of shape asses.
As to the game, no Brown, we know that, and possibly/likely no Greene, which would suck if he hasn’t sucked. I don’t actually know this for sure, as I missed the last two games, but you all told me he sucked and I’m going to dare to trust you all know what the fuck you are talking about.
Serendipity has aligned herself to tumble favorable dominoes, and I think we will get that 4th spot. It’s always frustrating when your fate is not your own, but ultimately it is, because no matter what, by 10:30pm tonight, we will be headed the playoffs once again. This time to defend our supremacy.
Oh, also Sutter has been fucking with the lines, but to paraphrase the late and great George Carlin, “the lines will continue to change, on and off, for a long, long time.”
Categories: L.A. Kings News