So we are down a game. Big whoop.

The Kings did not play well as a team in game one. Little hasty with the passing, little slow with the forecheck, lotta hesitation on the shooting. They know how to fix this and tonight they will.

We have seen the best the Blues have to offer. They were marvelous throughout game one and for all their shots and incessant pressure, it took a massive fuck-up by Quick for them to put the game away. They came out with a full head of steam, but racers and sixteen year olds will tell you it’s never a good idea to shoot your wad early. Unless you’re Mike Tyson, but the Blues aren’t Mike Tyson, even if Tarasenko looks like he’s tasted human flesh.

Things I want to see in game two: Scuderi making smart outlet passes, Ellerby closing gaps, Muzzin knowing when to pinch, Doughty wristing the puck, Carter with Richards, Brown with Kopi, though it doesn’t seem like those two will happen, but oh, while we are talking about Kopi, it can only be good if gets over his shootthefuckingpuckaphobia. This series, this playoffs, this team, ride heavily on Kopitar’s ability to be the best player on the ice. Selke worthy defense isn’t enough.

I also want to see the Kings get a little nasty. Much of their success starts with dominating the physical game. I want to see Ken Hitchcock’s neck fat waddle furiously “W-w-where was the call on that hit wref?!”

“Sorry Ken, that was clean. Well, clean if you don’t count Barrett Jackman’s blood on the ice.”

I’m switching my shirt and jersey tonight.

We muse,

Kopitaire, Kopitaire. Wherefore art thou Kopitaire?
Deny thy nature, shoot thy puck!
Or, if thou wilt not, pass to Cartaire.
And he’ll bury that shit.

We pray,

Our Kings, who art in St. Louis,
Hallowed be thy game.
Thy kingdom come, thy wills be done,
On their ice, as it shall be on ours.
Give us this day our daily goals, and forgive no Blues their transgressions,
As we pound into submission those who trespass against us.
And lead us past the first round,
Past these evil Blues fucks.


Go fucking nuts.