Kings @ Blues – Round 1 Game 5 – Three’s Company

So now that I’ve finally calmed down from game 4 (that’s a lie, I haven’t calmed down. At all) I am ready for the game tonight and boy is my wallet thanking me for watching this one at home, where the food is better and the beer is cheaper. Other than those two things, I would like very much for my experience watching game 5 in a living room to mirror watching the last two in section 315. Yes, that means I’ll be yelling at the TV, maybe I can get Surly Cat to join me in a cheer.

I don’t have the brain right now for thinking about the “keys” to the game tonight, or whatever you want to call it. What I will say though, is that despite playing a majority of the game down by a goal or two, at no point did St. Louis truly scare me on Monday.

Oh sure, they had their moments, and a healthy enough number of shots, but their goals were… Meh. We were the more dangerous team and were rewarded with the hard-fought and spectacularly talented goals. Didn’t take no goofy bounce off the glass or awful rebound for us to score – though a timely splayed Blue at center ice helped. Our offense finally broke through the way it does best, off marvelously skilled rushes created by forced turnovers and hard-nosed cycles that had the Blues defense reeling and our stars getting open in front.

These are the things that win will us game 5.

It will be interesting to see what kind of game we get, whether both teams crack down and we see another low scoring affair, or if the floodgates have now opened and not even the brilliant play of either goalie can stop it. Scratch that, Jonathan Quick can stop it.

Taking this one on the road is huge. That goes without saying. Winning our third game in a row puts double pressure on the Blues, sending them to the brink of elimination as well the fear that they could very well lose four in a row once more. Ain’t nothing like an nagging trauma to rear up and bite your ass just because you made the mistake of thinking about it. But I get slightly ahead of myself.

Game 4 was a turning point. In the playoffs, you are punished for failing to drive a stake through the eyeballs of your opponent when given the chance. Be it in a single period, as the Kings saw in game 2 when they failed to score a padding goal despite dominating the play. Or in a best of seven, as the Blues did on Monday when they couldn’t hold on to two leads and keep the Kings from tying the series.

We got a big old momentum shlong swinging between our legs right now and… I’m not going to finish that analogy.

It’s time to stop chatting and time to start cheering.

It’s time to pray.

Our Kings, these defending Stanley Cup Champion Kings, who art in the motherfucking playoffs,
Hallowed be thy game tonight.
Thy Kingdom come if thy wills will be done,
On their ice, because it’s about damn time.
Give us this day our goals, however many are needed,
So that we may forgive ourselves not taking the series lead sooner.
And in the meantime give these dicks from St. Louis a sound slapping.
That we may be led past the first round,
Past these ugly ass Blues,

Let’s shatter glass and pierce our neighbor’s eardrums. Beat our chests and celebrate crisp passes, crushing blows and dance under flashing red lights.

Let’s go watch some damn Kings playoff hockey.

And go fucking nuts.






Categories: L.A. Kings News

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23 replies

  1. Thanks for the heads up….I’ll have my earplugs ready to go!

  2. Who is Surly Cat? I hate cats.

  3. You should invest in a plastic flask. Nothing coats Staples Center throat like bourbon… MMm – bourbon and hockey…auwghhhhh.

    • I always used water bottles, because flasks are only for alcoholics. Also, “keys” to the game tonight are simple: 1) Score more fucking goals than those motherfuckers who call themselves the “Blues.” That’s it, nothing more, nothing less.

    • Been meaning to get one of those for a while. I likes my scotch, but hockey kind of needs beer.

    • All about the water bottle of JD with a bottomless coke and intermission Stella’s. LGMFK!

    • Bourbon and heartburn pills

    • You guys are missing the most obvious drink of all, CROWN and Coke. The drink of champions! My drink of choice when not operating a vehicle.

      • Oh Yeah..that is Yum!
        although thank you to Casey’s Pub on Broadway I have discovered Jameson’s Irish with a pickleback chaser…omg
        GO KINGS GO!!!

        • +1! Good choice my friend

        • I will definitely give that a try. Sounds pretty tasty.

          Here we go boys and girls! Are you ready?!?!?! It’s game time!

          • and for anyone who’s alcohol if choice is Vodka..
            There is the Moscow Mule..I discovered in honor of my Beloved( shut up..the girl can’t help it..the girl can’t help it).
            I tweak with extra lime juice…easy on the Gingerale..and double dash of Agnostura Bitters.
            FORECHECK these Mothering whores!!!!
            GO KINGS GO!!!

  4. Being the well rounded idiot that I am, I too yell at the television. My problem is that I expect a response and immediate results.
    I am going to go out on a limb: King, Colonel, Doughty x 2.

  5. Am excited..We can Do This.
    Forecheck those mothers into next year…
    That is the Key that opens our Kingdom.
    GO KINGS GO!!!

  6. Amen! And you’re right about killer instinct ON Monday the blues had several chances to either go up 3-0 or 4-2 by putting the skate blade to the jugular. Hitch even alluded to that when he said that the Kings had an extra gear and the Blues don’t. Something Scuds said in a pre game 4 interview about the team having confidence even when they were down 0-2 and that showed. He also said that you have to make your momentum every game, not counting on it to be carried over.
    The Kings took over midway thru game 4 and never looked back. I have a feeling they’ll come out in the first and swarm Elliot. That’s what they need to do, constant pressure and driving to the net.

  7. Ok, just where we want them! We knew they would come out strong in the first period and play well with home ice. Guess what? They gave it all they had and got SHIT! We own these biatches now. This game is ours! Lets take it to them, men!

  8. Muzzin is terrible in the defensive zone when pressured. He needs to sit. I like him but he is too much of a liability. Amart is back so sit his ass.

  9. Never give up… The boys are teaching this negative nancy a lesson.
    We need to control the neutral zone.

  10. Stolen win….again! The Kings have controlled like 30 minutes of the series. Next one’s in LA for the series! Who would’ve thought watching the games played out? I’m so happy and relieved.

  11. Thank you Jaden Schwartz for slashing Voynov’s stick on that shot. He was shooting high, your slash caused the puck to stay on the ice.


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