Ok so I don’t know what the fuck the Kings were doing the last two games, but it wasn’t working and it wasn’t winning.

Sharks have speed. We have size. They’re using they’re speed. Time to use our size.

Oh sure, Kings had a boatload of hits last game, but those were of the “I can’t get the puck so I’ll bump into you” variety. We need to use our size in the “oh sorry, you thought you were gonna get into a board battle with me? That’s not going to end well for you, numb nuts” kind of way. And get to the front of the damn net.

We did in the third period last game. I know it seems grim right now folks, but the Sharks threw EVERYTHING they had at us in the last two games and they just eked out a couple wins. The Sharks are feeling smug, the Kings are calm, cool and ready to bring the pain.

Now, the Kings are not in a position to just keep doing their thing. No, their thing has got to change a little. Penner on the second line, which looks like it will carry over tonight, is a big boost, but it’s the Kopitar line and the third line that are hurting us. I’m not entirely sure I like Lewis playing center, but having two lines centered by Richardson and Fraser ain’t ideal either. I am curious to put Carter on his own line at center, something like 13-11-14, 23-77-73, 25-10-22 and 74-24-71/15. That’s enough about the lines. They don’t matter quite as much as people think.

Home ice kids, this is why we are happy to have it.

Time for the fans to bring it. So help me hockey gods, if you people are all quiet and lame because of the last two games, or shut up just because San Jose has a good shift, my palm will be very sore from slapping 18,000 faces. Don’t make me scream for all of you just because I can. I don’t even want to hear myself I want you fools so loud.

Back to basics. Back to basics for the Kings. Quick ups, pucks deep, big bodies and net presence. Back to the basics for fans, lots of chants, and not just “Hey Shark fans, You Suck!” I’m actually getting a little tired of that chant, because its getting bastardized. I hear it more often than I hear “Go Kings” and that’s bullshit. Unless a Shark Fan does something stupid, or it’s in the concourse between periods, I forbid you to yell anything other than “Go Kings Go” or “Let’s Go Kings”. Yell that, yell it a lot.

Capiche?

Good.

Back to basics for prayer.

Our Kings, yeah, the defending Cup Champs, those Kings, who art on home ice for a game 5 for the first time in a long ever,
Hallowed be thy game tonight.
Thy Kingdom shall come as thy wills do get done,
On our ice, because that’s how we like it.
Give us this night as many goals as Jonathan Quick needs, cause he makes the rules ’round here,
And forgive no Sharks their trespasses across that blue line, and just maybe we’ll forgive them for Logan Couture’s face.
Nah.
And lead us past these smug schmuck Sharks, and deliver us our third win.

Amen

Don’t just go fucking nuts.

Be a fucking nut.

And let’s win this damn game!

GO KINGS GO!

GO KINGS GO!!

GO KINGS GO!!!