Yeah you, hockey gods.
Look, I know it’s not your fault that some Kings skaters didn’t really feel like skating yesterday. You’re only hockey gods, not like, effort gods; Christian Scientists have those dudes on lockdown. So I’m not asking for you to make Kopitar dangle or Brown skate harder or Carter find some open room or Doughty play like less of a shit that’s been dipped.
I would like to ask for a bounce or two. If you have it in your hearts to give the puck a little blow flat when it’s rolling on Carter’s stick, make a pass settle on the ice a touch more quickly or even just ease it under Patrick Sharp’s skate so he steps on it instead of shoots it, I know all the other Kings fans and myself would be mighty grateful.
You’ve done so much for us, as you have for the Hawks in the past. But come on, Chicago got that Ditka SNL sketch, and that should really be enough to tide them over for another decade or three. Meanwhile, Justin Beiber showed up at a Kings game, so I think you’ve got a little making up to do on our part. Not trying to tell you how to do your job, we reserve that for coaches, but I’m just sayin’, come on.
Come on Kings.
You can beat these guys. These smarmy, entitled, punk fools.
So let’s do it, yeah? For me, for the fans, for the hockey gods that have treated us all so well.
Let’s kill these jerks.
Categories: L.A. Kings News