I hate playing the Edmonton Oilers. Those top-heavy teams with no defense and no goaltending mean the entire game may feel like a shootout.

And you all know how much I love the shootout.

I am speaking this pregame into my phone while attending a kids’ Halloween party so if you came here expecting an in depth analysis of tonight’s match, fuck off.

Dwight King had the game of his life. But having one great game means nothing. If he can show some level of consistency at the left wing position, then we will have taken a big step toward solidified forward lines. I will be watching him carefully.

Richards and Kopitar broke out of their goal-less funk. If Kopitar is, as we know him to be, a streaky player, then it sure would be nice if he can start a goal scoring streak right about now. What do you say Kopi? Can you make it last through June?

I hope Jake Muzzin is not on defense. He seriously has been driving me crazy. I also hope, if he is, the last game and the idiotic penalties that he took are not the start of a trend with him. Being physical does not mean being stupid (See Carcillo, Daniel). I know the coaches told him to be the former and, for the sake of keeping the gray hairs away, let’s hope he didn’t interpret that as the latter.

I don’t know who is in goal but, whoever it is, may have their hands full with the Edmonton forwards. I say the play of Willie Mitchell, Drew Doughty and Slava Voynov will be the keys to tonight’s game. Those three are the catalysts to the breakouts out of our own zone and, with Matt Greene, a big part of keeping the area around Jonathan Quick free from forward fucks who fester.

Game time is at 6 PM.

My ass will be on a couch with beer in hand.

I would rather be at the game but if I got everything I wanted, Ashley Judd would be blowing me right now as I speak this article.

Alas, we all learn to live within our limitations.

Let’s hope our Los Angeles Kings teach the Edmonton Oilers about theirs.

I told the balloon guy that he either makes me this or I fight him.


Go Kings!