It’s a 3-2 x 2 ÷ St. Louis = Anaheim Sucks League

Darryl Sutter isn’t just the L.A. Kings coach. He is a blooming genius. He says it’s a 3-2 league and the L.A. Kings work hard to make sure they prove him right, even to the extent of giving up two late goals to St. Louis and going 135 rounds in the shootout against the rodents off Katella Avenue.

I have no complaints.

I am as content as a 17-year-old boy with my face in a pair of 23-year-old Ds.

As relaxed as a stoner laying on the couch with a full bag of Doritos within reach.

On the defensive end, our gap control is excellent. We are not giving opposing forwards anything. If they are fortunate enough to enter the zone, they get pushed around and to the boards, lose the puck and we quickly transition out. Three things are primarily responsible for this elevation of our defensive game. Willie Mitchell is back to long stick, beast mode. Robyn Regehr is as comfortable in his role as I have seen him in a Kings jersey. He has literally made me temporarily forget about Matt Greene. That is incredible. Jake Muzzin has taken his D game to another level. He had one small goof tonight against Anaheim but, overall, he has had a hell of last 5 games.

Offensively, we are getting a crap load of looks. With Jeff Carter back and getting into his groove and Tyler Toffoli showing why we fell in love with him last season, we have four lines that can play big, skate, grind, score and dictate the pace. I still just hate Colin Fraser on this team, as he is the weakest link, but as long as he doesn’t cost us games, we roll with it. Free Linden Vey.

How about the big bad back up, Martin Jones? Unflappable. As much as I hate the shootout, I had serious wood with the stops he made, one after another, on some damn difficult shots. He gave Perry, Getzlaf and…what is that other idiot’s name…shit, I cannot remember, nothing. He didn’t flinch on grandpa’s quick wrister, 5 hole. He could have taken off his mask, gotten a drink of water, put the mask back on, stretched a little bit and then got into position by the time it took Dustin Penner to get from center ice to the hashmarks.

Speaking of Dustin Penner, Corey Perry is a diving pussy. What?

Looking at the West, even with 40 points, it’s tighter than a 42-year-old, fake titted Ducks fans’ vaginal canal that just underwent a collagen inducing and elastin contracting designer procedure.

Nearly got into a fight 17 minutes into the first period but a smart Ducks fan knows when to shut up fast. He should buy his buddy who saved him from a trip to Anaheim Memorial a drink.

How much fun was it watching our boys maul Martin Jones after his first NHL win? My big goofy smile will last through tomorrow afternoon.

So what did you think of the game? Surly had fun. I had fun. You have fun?

Categories: L.A. Kings News

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27 replies

  1. I don’t think Doughty had his best game. Couple of giveaways. Also, Mike Richards better smell like pussy because he’s playing like a guy infected with that super-gonorrhea.

  2. Jones was composed in the shootout, that’s for sure. The boys played well all around. Chicken-shit Perry at it again…w the embelishment, basically spearing our goalie, then immediately backing away from Richards as Perry will only fight players named Datsyuk (and still lose the fight…fuckin’ bitch).

    How Penner has 22 points and is +17 is beyond me…duh fuh?

    On a semi-related note: How much impact do you think Quick’s injury will have on his chances of being the guy for Team USA?

    • Ryan J… the reports I am hearing up here in Canada is that Quick and Miller are fighting it out for 1-2, and Schneider and Howard for 3-4 and it sounds like Thomas is 5. I’m sure it will come down to what Quick can do before they name the roster on Jan. 7

    • I had a feeling that turd would start playing in Anaheim. He helped us win a cup. But just watching him during the regular season was about as much fun as taking a puck to the nuts with no cup. Is there some tension between him and Brownie? That one time they sorta skated next to each other after the play was whistled dead they gave each other a little shove but didn’t look very friendly.

      When the hell is Frattin gonna score??? Richards looked drunk.

    • Honestly this is a moot point. Its kind of hard to even speculate about Quick and the Olympics when the most important question is when is Quick going to be ready to get back in net for the Kings.

      Right now, its more important to think about the Kings and not Team USA.

      With the way Scrivens has been playing in the absence of Quick, there is no rush for Quick to come back until he is really pain and symptom free.

      If Team USA is going to announce their selections for Sochi, who knows if they hold a spot for Quick since he may or may not even be ready to play for the Kings before January 1, 2014.

      Quick might be ready to come back on the date they have penciled in with the Kings, but then again he might not be ready if he isn’t fully healed from his Grade 2 groin injury. I think its more important for the Kings to have Quick. The Olympics are secondary right now.

      • To be fair, I’m a hockey fan first, Team USA fan second, Kings fan third.

        So I personally care about Quick’s injury in relation to his possible starting gig on Team USA and his eventual return to the Kings, in that order.

      • I agree partially. Yes, Quick’s long-term health is obviously more important in relation to the Kings, however, I personally care a great deal about Team USA hockey and very much want “our guy” to be the starter. Of course, I absolutely do not want him coming back too early just to be on USA’s roster. I want him to come back when fully ready as groin injuries can be a tricky thing and if you don’t give it time to heal properly, it’ll only get worse over time.

        • Yes. It would be a sad day if Quick came back too soon to be on the Team USA. His goalie style is extreme, which requires a healthy and flexible groin. If he comes back too soon, he could permanently damage his groin.

          I’ve had a number of muscle/tendon injuries in my life. So, I’ve studied this intensely. Muscle fibers must be smooth and slippery to function properly. If there is scarring, the fibers will stick together (become like a rope). Massage Therapists call it ropey. This will permanently limit flexibility. This applies to all of you. Take care to properly warm up and cool down, when you exercise. If you injure yourself, use only ice in the first 72 hours. Later, you can alternate hot and cold, but always finish with the cold.

          Getting back to Quick, he must allow this to heal to 100%. If he hurries this, he’ll pay the price for the remainder of his career … and lifetime.

  3. You’re welcome from the Jungle for last night’s shootout victory. ;)

    I know, less snark, more bark. I’ll be writing up something new soon. Lots of excitement lately in Monarchs Country.

  4. I don’t think the Sucks have played a team that can forecheck like the Kings can yet this season. Anaslime has had a pretty easy schedule so far in MHO. Glad Jonesy Boy had a great game! GO KINGS GO!

  5. I can only agree with your comments. You have a special gift of gab!

    It’s been a strange beginning to this season … up and down. It does seem that they are finally on track, except for the Calgary debacle! I think Doughty had some difficulties last night, but he is permitted one game when he’s not quite up to his usual standard of excellence!

    It’s comforting to see that we have a strong group of goalies. Different styles, but similar qualities.

    I did wonder why Tofolli wasn’t in the shootout … since they went to nine shooters!

    I’m really happy for King! He’s worked hard. It’s good to see him getting rewarded for all of his hard work.

    Frazier really doesn’t add anything to this team. He seems to just take up space … along with his knack of taking bad penalties. I wish we could get a different fourth line Center.

    Frattin seems to be getting better. Hopefully, he’ll settle in as one of the reliable Forwards.

    Brown is still struggling, but he is playing stronger.

    Richards isn’t playing his usual stellar game.

    I like Vey. I think he’ll be an excellent addition to this team.

    Next up … the Islanders! Go Kings!!!

  6. I LOVE Martin Jones…heck my whole family loved him so much last night my mom has now invited him to Christmas dinner. That shoot out was a total nail biter and now as I sit barely able to type with band aids on my fingers I can feel so happy to walk by the offices of the Ducks-suck fans in my office today with a big smile on my face and my Kings shirt on!!!!

  7. I’m starting to really dig RR as the season goes on. The guy is really coming into quality form. He seems to be skating a little better but his positioning is almost flawless and the way he takes guys to the boards and snuffs them out is like a science.

    I definitely noticed him being out of the lineup during the 3rd.

  8. All i keep thinking is how awesome this will all be once we start creating a little more offense. My only disappointment so far this season has been games that should have been 5-2, but wound up an overtime game or loss. Very pleased. One thing has been bugging me though. Id like to see a game stars stick given to someone who isnt threatening to throw his kid over the glass. I thought we dont negotiate with terrorists. I mean wtf. Seriously if your gonna pay the money for those seats, because you want to try and get a stick. Its a good idea to bring a kid small enough to toss onto the ice i guess. Without one there really isnt a chance in hell.

    • Nicely done. Hall of Fame worthy? Not sure. Surly may have to chime in.

      • Agreed. Though I’m a little disappointed at the wasted opportunity to type the words “tossing midgets”

        • Theres like three season ticket holders on that side with kids. My guess is they all have like 10-15 of those sticks already. Id like to see a player spear chuck one into the stands maybe. Or hand it to an ice crew girl from between their legs.

          • On a serious note it would be nice if they called seat numbers and gave them after the game. Solve a bunch of issues. Signed and dated. My 2¢, whatever……

          • Now, that’s an original thought!! I like it!!

          • Those sticks are crappy pre-fabricated simulated autographed garbage. They aren’t game used, not even intended to be used for anything other than a souvenir.

            The Kings are cheap, bottom line, they have been giving those crappy things away for a few years now, so if someone wants to dangle their “midget” over the glass so they can get a souvenir stick, they spent the money, so they can have them.

            Other teams give away the stick the player used, but the Kings give away a simulated team autographed stick when they go through the 3 stars thing.

            I’ve received actual game ready or used sticks from the opposing teams equipment manager during warm-ups. Most of the time a player might toss a puck over the glass during warm-ups. I don’t bother trying to fight in the scrum that is created by this. If a puck is tossed in my direction and I do catch it, then I give it to a little kid or young kid, its a practice puck anyway.

            Best team for getting game ready or used sticks from is Montreal. Their equipment manager handed out 3 sticks the last time they were here back in the 2011/2012 season. I usually get to the games early to take pictures at warm-ups, so I go to the oppositions bench. On that day he just decided since this was the last game of their road trip, he would give out a few sticks, since they were not going to be used and were just extras.

            There were a bunch of people at the bench area, so there were a bunch of people trying to grab the sticks as he was giving them out. After the 2nd stick he grabbed a 3rd one and since we were down at the glass, I just for the hell of it yelled hey how about here. He handed me the stick which I gave to my son to take to the guest services station inside Staples, since you can’t have a stick during a game.

            We got a Tomas Plekanec stick, pretty cool, taped up and would have been cutdown since it was a few inches too long for Plekanec, who usually cuts them down to stick handle better. After the game we went to guest services to pick it up so we could take it home.

    • Shit. I currently live in TX and go to Dallas every time the Kings are in town and we’ve had seats a few rows from the glass a couple times and I’ve made sexy eyes w/ Brown (in my Brown jersey) and Richards before and I thought, “Shit, maybe I’ll get a stick!” …Nope. Thus, this is why I got my wife pregnant recently (don’t tell her). I want that fucking stick, dammit.

      Terrorist? Not sure. Assclown? Definitely.

      • Ryan coming in strong to challenge Hamburglar HoF induction. Surly and I have some thinking to do.

      • Good luck….. It’s a narrow window. 3-5 years old. Have to be big enough to hold the stick, but still light enough to throw 10′ in the air. Shame about Texas and all.

        • No kidding. I mean, at Staples, nearly everyone is a Kings fan, so the players have a “Fuck you” attitude when a 29 year bearded asshole like myself is ga-ga about getting a stick.

          With that said, when we’re the only god damn Kings fans in the American Airlines Center…come on man, if I’m acting like a child, you may as well treat me like one…and


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