Got this idea today that it may be fun to flashback to some of our posts of the last 4 + years (crazy it’s been that long, right?) and see what we were talking about at this time…then…kind of like “this date in Kings history”, except it’s “this date in L.A. Kings News history.”
If you guys like this flashback thing (not drug induced), then maybe we will do it every couple of weeks or so.
I picked my favorite post(s) of the seven-day period.
December 2 – 9, 2009 – Fucking up Anaheim
Surly gave us “Hunting Season Has Begun” on December 1, 2009 about a victory over Anaheim. Favorite part…
After Richardson broke through with his first goal as a King (in his 58th game), Jack Johnson took a cross-checking penalty for making Beleskey look like a women with a broken heal. The Ducks pulled their goaltender and fired everything they could muster at a scrambling Jonathan Quick who held on for the win.
This game taught me two things about the Kings. Wayne Simmonds is a world-beater, and Jack Johnson is stronger than everyone. Simmonds was all over the ice, hounding every poor Duck soul that got in his way, while Johnson cut more Ducks down to size than a chef in Peking.
December 2 – 9, 2010 – Fuck Rene Bourque!
From yours truly, after we beat the Flames, I was livid over a spear by Rene Bourque’s on Drew Doughty:
Correction…Rene Bourque is the shit that a piece of shit wipes from its shoe. There is no honor in being a coward, much less a no talent hack of a coward. Tonight, Rene Bourque showed Drew Doughty, the Kings, our fans, and the National Hockey League that he is exactly that. A no talent pussy who in the waning seconds of a game takes the mother of all cheap shots, a spear, right into Doughty’s mid section. Why would any player ever do such a thing? Ask dog shit why it smells or Brent Sutter why he is so damn ugly. They are what they are born to be. Rene Bourque is no different, as are any Calgary fans who would defend such an action or react to it with anything other than shame. If Rene Bourque receives anything less than a three game suspension and a significant fine, then the NHL should take its credibility and set it aflame…and for those Flames fans, no, I didn’t misspell his name in the title. He earned the extra “e” in his first name tonight.
December 2 – 9, 2011 – Murray has to go!
December 5, 2011…boy oh boy, we all know what we were feeling at that time, eh? I had written about 100 articles about my frustration and disgust with Terry Murray and why he was the wrong coach for this team. Surly wrote one about the need for a new coach, called “Killer Instinct”.
A team takes on the attitude of its coach. Are you happy with a team sucking on the tit of a man with nothing but cold milk to give, or do you want a leader who regurgitates intensity? Should our team identity be molded in the light of lucky bounces, shot mentality and third period lead scared, defensive shells? Maybe, just maybe, a mantra of domination is in order. But for one to pass on dominance one must embody the killer instinct. It must be so a part of a person that it can’t escape the eyes.
December 2 – 9, 2012 – A homoerotic skit about Bettman and Fehr.
The fucking lockout was making us goofy…and my goofy ways gave us the Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr meeting you won’t read about elsewhere on December 4, 2012. Not sure where my head was when I wrote this part of it…
Fehr: There is nothing wrong with that, Gary…in fact, any guy would be happy to have you…
Bettman: You mean that?
Fehr: Hell yes, I do. You are a successful and powerful businessman, you are on top of the world, smart, articulate, handsome…
Fehr: Um…yeah, you are a damn good looking guy. Look at how you fill that suit, the way you carry yourself, you’re an impressive man, Gary…(a silence intervenes but Fehr is not done)…and since we are confessing, I don’t mind saying that I share your struggle.
Bettman: What do you mean?
Fehr: You know what I mean…I understand. I know. Come on, don’t make me say it.
Bettman: Say what?
Fehr: Gary, you know.
Bettman: Know what?
Fehr: You jerk…
Bettman: Tell me, Don.
Fehr: I am…
Fehr: Attracted to you! There, I said it. Now, you can ridicule me because clearly you don’t feel the same and whoever this other guy is will have you instead…
(Fehr turns away)
Fehr (holding back the emotions): What?
Bettman: You’re my man…
(Fehr turns toward Bettman…Bettman’s beady little eyes stare into Don’s dead gray)
Fehr: I am your man…
(Bettman smiles. Fehr smiles. Bettman leaps into Fehr’s arms, the two press their lips against each other as saliva squirts from each corner of their mouth. Bettman grasps Fehr’s crotch and Fehr squeals in delight and sticks his tongue deep into Bettman’s right ear)
Categories: L.A. Kings News