Surly and Scribe Exclusive! L.A. Kings Players, Coaches and Suits React to La Habra Earthquake

Had some time to kill after the 5.2 earthquake in La Habra. While the wife was busy picking up shit that fell everywhere, I figured I would call some of the Kings players, coaches and management (and some others whose numbers I still have) and get their thoughts on the shaker.

Jeff Carter: “Didn’t notice. Banging this chick at the time.”

Mike Richards: “Didn’t notice. Jeff was banging this chick at the time.”

Calling Dean Lombardi

Dean: “Deano here.”

Scribe: “Hello Mr. Lombardi, wanted to see if everything was okay after that earthquake.”

Dean: “Oh boy. That’s a tough one. You sure want to believe it will be okay. I mean, look at the history of earthquakes in this State. Now, I am from back east as you know but…”

(putting my phone down. Grabbing wife’s phone to make more calls)

Marian Gaborik: “I don’t know what the fuck that was but my offseason salary demands just increased.”

Justin Williams: “As handsome as ever.”

Calling Rob Blake

Blake: “Yeah?”

Scribe: “Blake is a girl’s name!”

Blake: “Who is this?”

Scribe: “YOU SUCK!”

Blake: “Mom?”

Scribe: “BOOOOOOO!”

Calling Drew Doughty

Drew: “yyyyyellow”

Scribe: “Hey Drew, Bobby Scribe! How the hell are you?”

Drew: “Jesus, you don’t give up do you?”

Scribe: “What? What, what? I am just calling to make sure you…are okay…you know cause we had this….earthquake and stuff.”

Drew: “Bobby…”

Scribe: “Yeah?”

Drew: “You called because you want all of the details of the night I banged that chick.”

Scribe: “What chick?”

Drew: “The one that called me an asshole in the bar, then went home with me and she made all of those accusations. Come on…”

Scribe: “….”

Drew: “Bobby?”

Scribe: “Sharing really is caring Drew.”

Drew: “Move on man.”

(hangs up)

Picking up my phone to check on Dean Lombardi

Dean: “…and it’s never that simple, because earthquakes, like any natural disaster, don’t just happen. There is a lot that leads up to it, so just can’t say ‘hey, I am going to be prepared for the big one’ because it may never come…”

(putting phone back down)

Phone call to Jamie Kompon

Kompon: “This is three time Stanley Cup Champion Jamie Kompon, can I help you?”

Scribe: “…”

Kompon: “Hello?”

Scribe: “Yeah, I have no comeback to that…”

Darryl Sutter: “Ground shook, right? Ground shakes, nothin’ you can do about it.”

Calling Dustin Brown’s home

Nicole Brown: “Hello?”

Scribe: “Hey Nicole, Bobby Scribe. Can Dustin talk?”

Nicole: “Dustin can’t talk right now, he’s still falling down.”

Scribe: “Falling down? Earthquake was over an hour ago?”

Nicole: “He’s practicing for the after shocks.”

Picking up phone to see if Dean is still talking

Dean: “…and that is where you get parallels with the Yankees or, really, any professional sports franchise that has reached a pinnacle of success. How can they maintain it? And the answer isn’t…”

Scribe: “Hey Dean”

Dean: “Yo”

Scribe: “Listen, that was great but I really have to run now.”

Dean: “You sure?

Scribe: “Yeah, I’m sorry.”

Dean: “Hey, no problem. I was going to draw the parallel between the earthquake and the details of the night Drew banged that chick.”

Scribe: “Wait, what?”


Categories: Surly & Scribe Humor

14 replies

  1. That was priceless Bobby!!! :-)

  2. Damn it Scribe, you really do have Sutter’s number!

  3. TY funny man…
    I know you helped with clean up..
    hope daughter took in stride..and pup (s)
    Park and Ride


  4. Another eathquake headed to Staples tonight. Maybe Regehr and Doughty could both check him together.

  5. Just a little fyi, it’s MariAn Gaborik. Not Marion. Like Marian Stastny, Marian Hossa and the Professor and Marian. (ok maybe not that last one, but you get the idea.)

    • That Hands of Grace Louie..he is on a Roll…LOL….

      • You got that right!! I guess Lewis has been practicing his stick handling! That had to be a perfect, dead center, shot to beat Pavelec!

        • Much better since Stick…sorry Bobby.. ;-) … has been centering and Lewis as think Louie feels challanged to do better with Mike on line..

          • I think you have it! I think it’s a combination of playing on the wing and being with the right line mates.

            That was a NEAT save that Quick made with his leg!

            Go Kings!

  6. Score!!!

  7. OMG I just fell off my chair laughing….or was it an aftershock????
    Great post!!!
    Hey wait there was an aftershock this morning at 11:30…dang Brown and all the practicing.


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