Yesterday Bobby told you how the Kings need to play to beat the Ducks.
I’m here to tell you why they need to beat them.
Garbage hockey shouldn’t prosper. I may dislike the Blackhawks for what they have done to the Kings in recent years, but you can’t argue that their brand of hockey is bad for the game. Solid defense, exciting plays built off high end talent, precise execution. These things build the game’s audience. Duck hockey is a sloppy mess that belongs in beer leagues and not diluting an otherwise pristine game.
I’ve seen it argued that the Kings play a boring style of hockey, akin to the suffocatingly dull brand of hockey the New Jersey Devils exploited just over a decade ago.
Shirking a direct response as to why I disagree with that, it can not be overlooked that success in large cities like Los Angeles is important for the NHL. It gets more kids interested in the sport, youth programs started, rinks built and helps add to the talent of future drafts. Success in Anaheim accomplishes nothing beyond putting a few more ugly jersey on a few more ugly children, it adds nothing to game. The Ducks must fail.
A good benchmark for how a team’s on-ice success translates to the growth of its fan base can be seen in their advertising sales. The Ducks have weak advertising partners because companies don’t find value in the ad space they have to offer. A few local businesses and Hooters, that’s about all you’ll see at Honda Center. I’m not saying I like add in any way, only that dollars talk. I know we complain in LA about some things like the fairly consistent lameness of the Kings’ creative branding department, but the fact that no one in Anaheim has been able to use Getzlaf to sell an an ad to Rogaine speaks as much to their organizational lameness as it does to their captain’s lack of importance, despite his talent. Though it appears they don’t have much to lose, the Ducks must fall.
The Ducks are an abomination. There are thousands upon thousands of species of animals walking this magnificent earth, many of which don’t swim around in their own shit. An antelope is more menacing than a duck. I’d sooner cower before a gerbil than anything that quacks. Tigers, narwhales, sloths, seahorses, millions of fascinating insects, spiders, beautiful parrots, cats and wolves, even fucking fruit bats are more interesting than Ducks.
If you’ve ever been bored at work, clicking through random youtube videos and come across something like this and thought to yourself “why the fuck does that exist?” you know why the Anaheim Ducks must lose.
I could go on but I’m starting to get a migraine from putting this much thought into Orange County.
Make Them Pay.
Make Them Bleed.
Categories: L.A. Kings Game Reports