Top 10 Benefits of Las Vegas Getting an NHL Team

According to some guy named Tony Gallagher of the Province, the NHL expansion to Las Vegas is a “done deal.”

Who is he?

Who cares.

Vegas baby.

Of course, my mind immediately slipped into memories of The Strip, strip clubs, strippers, taunting a police officer to arrest me, being handcuffed and this chick I knew years ago who decided to wear nothing but stripes one evening as clothing…like literally stripes, it was crazy, kind of like when women will put on body paint but it was nothing but thick black and white stripes and I know you’re wondering whether it was white or black down…you know…let’s save that story for Frozen Fury.

Look, the idea of NHL hockey in Las Vegas is a damn stupid one, if true. But think about the possibilities here. That’s what I did. And hence this top 10 list….the top 10 benefits of Las Vegas getting an NHL team.

10. In addition to our L.A. Kings home arenas Staples and Honda Center, we will now have a vacation home arena in Vegas. How many other NHL teams can say that?

9. Our kids will likely get top line minutes because you know nobody will be able to find Richards, Carter or Doughty for at least a couple of games over there throughout the season.

8. Years of ridiculing Gary Bettman for this decision, 500-1000 articles as a result, job security for the hockey media.

7. “…and your Captain for the Las Vegas Seven Come Elevens, number nineteen….Joooooooe Thornton!”

6. The tired slogan can finally change to “What happens in Vegas, counts in the standings.”

5. Beer in hand walking into the game. Beer at the game. Beer in hand walking out of the game.

4. Between period entertainment. Lap dances.

3. At least 6 easy wins throughout the season…of me taking Surly’s money at the poker table.

2. Ducks fans. Buried. Desert.

…and the number one benefit of Las Vegas getting an NHL team…

1. Drunk hockey podcasts with me, Surly, Timmy and special guest, live from the Crazy Horse III, Velvet.

Categories: Surly & Scribe Top 10 list


11 replies

  1. Is it too soon to be pissed off about who we are going to lose in the expansion draft?

    • The loss will be that of overall team skill…league wide…… This will also translate as more upper line minutes leading to more skilled player injuries and more burnout/fade in the playoffs. The overall loss is far greater than a few unprotected players.

  2. And the Frozen Fury Event will go bust. Who wants to see a preseason game when regular season games can be attended?

  3. I’m sorry no NHL team in Vegas. Go forward not backwards.

  4. I always think…Phoenix roadrunners are the the fucking NHL coyotes. Not an NHL team. Never will be.

  5. Western conference finals (2012)not sold out! Pathetic.

  6. Can the coyotes be sent to the AHL where they belong?


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