The upshot to the condensed 2012-2013 season is that travel is a bit lighter for the Kings and the Western Conference. None of those pesky 3, 4, 5 hour flights to other times zones all the time wher.... What? Tennessee? That's not in the fucking West. It's East of the damn Mississippi! So all these East COAST teams get to skate and skirt up and down the seaboard, changing time zones maybe … [Read more...]
So Long Andrei “The Not-So-Giant” Loktionov, Enjoy Newark
February 6, 2013 By
Per whatever source you feel like looking up, Andrei Loktionov was granted his request today when he was traded to the New Jersey Devils in exchange for the Devils 5th round draft pick. I have mixed feelings on this deal. I do believe that Loktionov is worth, or will be worth in the near future, much more than a 5th round pick (perhaps not coincidentally, it was in the 5th round that the Kings … [Read more...]
Kings @ Columbus – For The Sake Of It
February 5, 2013 By
Just win. For Scribe's sake. He's panicking. For Dean's sake. His trade position worsens by the loss. For Jack's sake. One more smug smile from him and his face may get stuck that way. For Carter's sake. He hates Columbus so. For Fuck's sake. Richards shouldn't be allowed to get laid until he scores. If only. Motivation is everything. Just win. GO KINGS … [Read more...]
Futzing Down The Freeway – Kings @ Ducks Game Thread
February 2, 2013 By
First of all, Bobby and I are busy scouring through your emails, trying to decide who will get the replica rings. Bate your breath for a little while longer. I know, I know, the wait is excruciating. So is choosing. Now, onto the game tonight that I won't be watching because I had the brilliant idea to take my woman to Ojai for her birthday before consulting the Kings' schedule. I suppose once a … [Read more...]
Replica Stanley Cup Rings For All – Don’t Pay $70 On Ebay
February 1, 2013 By
UPDATE 2/5/13: THERE ARE NO MORE RINGS. I have emailed those we can send one to, so please, if you are just finding this post now, do not email me. Sorry we could not give one to everyone, but there are a lot of you! And you (almost) all deserve one! I am still getting to replying to everyone, which I promised I would individually. Thanks for all your emails and kind words about the … [Read more...]
Geography Be Damned – Kings vs Predators
January 31, 2013 By
Busy day so I need to make this quick. There once was a team from Nantucket, Whose fan base you could fit in a bucket Their gold was our pewter So they lost Ryan Suter And that's when Shea Weber said "Fuck it." Prediction for the game... Kings will only score one goal. Kings will win. GO KINGS GO! … [Read more...]
The Home Opener About A Hockey Game – Kings vs Canucks
January 28, 2013 By
My father used to say to me "Jacob, just 'cause you killed a pig don't mean you've got bacon." Actually, I don't think that was my father. It was a girl I dated from Kentucky... something to do with our lovemaking... we had just watched Deliverance, anyways, the point is that the Sedin brothers look like pig shit. Or maybe it's that one win isn't enough. Sure we beat Phoenix and that was fun, … [Read more...]
Angry? Kick The Dog – Kings @ Coyotes Game Talk
January 26, 2013 By
*Ring* *Ring* (I haven't figured out yet how to put the Beverly Hills Cop theme as my ringtone on my iPhone) *Ring* *Ring* (Swipe) "Hello?" "I need you to do me a favor." "What?" "Write a prayer. The hockey gods are angry." "For you Bobby, well... For you very little, but for the hockey gods, sure. Now leave me alone. I'm trying on shoes and am very confused." (end) Our Kings, whose fans … [Read more...]
Kings @ Oilers Game Thread
January 24, 2013 By
Scribe thinks I'm panicking. Scribe also wishes he had my good looks, so he often likes to pretend what he's thinking is what I'm thinking, hoping for some sort of reciprocal thought-to-looks transference. Want to know how much I'm panicking? I think the Kings will lose tonight. And that's fine. Matt over at Life In Hockeywood asked me and a few other nutbags to participate in a prediction … [Read more...]
The Disappointment Stupidity Brings
January 21, 2013 By
I spent the day idly going about my business at work. Wrote a quick article during a break. Got off at 6:30pm. Exercised. Came home, took a nice shower. Made a salad and some tea because I'm not quite ready to drink again considering the hangover I had yesterday from what ended up being essentially a 14-hour marathon of beer with a quick nap in between on Saturday. I was feeling good. I was … [Read more...]
Kings @ Colorado – The “Let’s Hope It’s a Hockey Game” Game Thread
January 21, 2013 By
So Saturday we saw the championship banner raised, but we were deprived of seeing our first Kings hockey game. We saw something, I just wouldn't really call it hockey. I could call it several things... hilarious, depressing, spastic, but it didn't qualify as hockey anymore than several sweaty men dry humping each other qualifies as football. And that's OK (not the dry humping, either take off … [Read more...]
Being A Kings Fan – Chapter 2
January 18, 2013 By
Well folks, its almost here, the day we've all been waiting for. The banner gets raised tomorrow, but that is merely incidental. When the Kings take the ice against the Chicago Blackhawks they skate for the first time as champions. For the first time, we as fans can look to the past and smile without the hesitation of memories balanced on pillars of compromise. "The 'Miracle on Manchester' … [Read more...]
And Just Like That, What? Forgiveness?
January 6, 2013 By
My fiancé is going to be upset. She's still asleep, it's our last day before returning to work after a pleasant winter vacation, so she's allowed one last day to hibernate. For the past six months she's had someone special in her life. A man who is home at 6pm. A man who takes her out to dinner, watches movies, listens to her prattle on about her day. She's had someone there to laugh when she … [Read more...]
The Holiday Spirit – Hockey Style
December 7, 2012 By
Check out this article from the Toronto Sun: Mary Trent says she was shocked by the behaviour of the Lowe’s Toronto Christmas Market Santa Claus as her son approached him. After Santa arrived a half hour late for his appearance, he proceeded to insult the boy’s red plaid coat. “The first thing he tells my son is, ‘Oh, you look like Paul Bunyan,' ” she said. “Really? Is that … [Read more...]
David Courtney Mourned By A Fan, and a Friend
November 29, 2012 By
Today, a city grieves. Bobby and I have many great things to say about David Courtney, the voice of the Los Angeles Kings home games, who passed away today. The sadness of this news weighs heavy in our hearts on this appropriately gloomy day. But while we were David's fans, my father was his friend. It was with great sorrow and a lump in my throat that I called him this afternoon with the … [Read more...]
Since There Is Nothing New, Here Is Something Old
September 28, 2012 By
Today you are supposed to be packing for a weekend in Vegas. You are supposed to be hopping on the party bus, or jumping in the car, or standing in the security line at LAX. You are supposed to be excited for Frozen Fury. Instead, you're pissed. It's just another Friday, just another weekend. You may still be going to Vegas. I'm sure many Kings fans will be there as months ago hotels and … [Read more...]
A Love For The Ages
September 9, 2012 By
This coming Wednesday, Scribe and I have our photo scheduled to be taken with the Stanley Cup. As the rest of you season ticket holders know, the Kings have secured two days for those of us who have committed our wallets and time to every home game to take a professional picture with sports most coveted prize. Wednesday is not far away. But it's too far away. When at 9pm last I read that the … [Read more...]
Fantastic Tribute to Ruslan Salei
August 30, 2012 By
If you haven't already seen it on Puck Daddy, check out this incredibly talented and touching tribute to the life and career of Ruslan Salei, done entirely in sand before the start of a tournament in Minsk dedicated to the former NHLer, the only player we will forgive for being a Mighty Duck. … [Read more...]
ECSTASY’S END, APATHY
July 23, 2012 By
Maybe you've noticed that I haven't written for something like three weeks. I hope you've noticed. I've noticed. I also haven't cared. Sorry to say, but as much as I love writing for you folks and often need to cauterize my mental wounds with words, not a bug of prose has bitten me, not of necessity nor inspiration. Hockey writers are always a bit starved for topics during the … [Read more...]
One More Photo Opportunity for Kings Fan
July 12, 2012 By
Have you had your picture taken yet? I know many have and many have not. Everyone must. The gracious and talented Chaz Curry is having one last shoot for his project, the Faces of Los Angeles Kings Fans. Don't be a wuss or a sourpuss, make the drive and go be part of the Kings collective and let's show the world exactly who and what our Stanley Cup Champion fans are made of. This … [Read more...]
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