There are really no Jews in the NHL. I think Matthieu Schneider was Jewish, and I think Noah Clarke, but he barely counts. It's a shame, I know plenty of Israeli's who play hockey in high school, and Israeli's tend to be Jews. It's only a matter of time before a handful of them make it into the NHL. Hell, we've got a Slovenian and an Eskimo, we can gets us a Jew or six, maybe even a … [Read more...]
Jarome Iginla Wants Us. Ménage à Trois Anyone?
March 24, 2013 By
So, there's this report that Jarome Iginla has placed the L.A. Kings on his list of 4 teams to which he would accept a trade. The teams are Boston, Los Angeles, Pittsburgh and Chicago. Cross out Pittsburgh as they just landed Brenden Morrow. This got me thinking. Dean Lombardi has gone kinky before, right? The Justin Williams trade...why do I feel like there was another? Three-way trades … [Read more...]
Shut Up About Iginla Already. Dean Isn’t Insane…But You May Be
March 23, 2013 By
Iginla this, Iginla that. It's nearly as absurd as the Gaborik trade rumors I have heard. Actually, it's not even close to the Gaborik ones but it is still nonsense. For those who want to see him as an L.A. King, what exactly do you see going the other way? Can he command a 1st round draft pick from a contender? Yes, a stupid one. I think twice before I give up a 2nd for him. I know he's … [Read more...]
Put Dustin Penner on the 4th Line and Keep Him There
March 23, 2013 By
I swear it's not complicated...hard work, that is. You just do it. You get out there and outwork the opponent. When you are 6'5", 245 pounds, you already have an unfair advantage. It's called size. When you don't use it, you might as well be 5"10", 160...which is what I am...and I am not getting paid over 3 million dollars to play hockey. I didn't get to see the whole game against the Vancouver … [Read more...]
Bernier’s Stock, Richardson’s Freedom, Sutter’s Wisdom and Scribe’s Musings
March 22, 2013 By
The only person that has praised Jonathan Bernier's skill-set more than me is JT. For those of you who don't know JT...wait, that can't be any of you. Back in September of 2010, I did a full write-up on our Jonathans Quick and Bernier. If you didn't read us back then and want to learn about Bernier up and down (plus my own observations of his play), you owe it to yourself to click a link and grab … [Read more...]
Dallas @ Kings – Tulips In Texas
March 21, 2013 By
Having just knocked the Phoenix Coyotes from their indignant stupor into one of despair, the Kings are in great position to take two more points from a division rival tonight against the Dallas Stars. The Western Conference is finally starting to show some separation, and the Stars are rightfully finding themselves sliding down the ladder. Still, the Stars won a rather embarrassing game against … [Read more...]
L.A. Kings Beat Phoenix Coyotes Who Help Beat Themselves 3-2. Morons Do As Morons Know.
March 19, 2013 By
"I scored that?" - Drew Doughty after he scored his 1st of the season. “It was just a collision. I didn’t really see him, and we clipped knees there. That’s all." - Jake Muzzin on the collision with Shane Doan. [Hits the ice like a bag of pucks] "My knee! Oh God, my knee! My vagina! No, no, I mean my knee! It really hurts!" [Realizes no penalty is being called, jumps on his skates, … [Read more...]
Kings Kick the Dogs With Some Rookie Magic
March 18, 2013 By
On the one hand, I was nearly in tears for missing this game, in person and at the arena. On the other, I did get to see it live, albeit while working away on the lap top... On the one hand, watching Tyler Toffoli get his first goal reminded me of the pride I felt when I learned my kid brother had banged...er, well, let's just say I was very proud. But not just because Tyler got his first goal … [Read more...]
Phoenix @ Kings, Phoenix @ Kings
March 18, 2013 By
*mini update for 3/19 game* Bernier is in net! Well rotated goaltenders! *end mini update* I refuse to write two game threads for these games. We haven't even played them yet and I already find tonight and tomorrow against the Coyotes exasperating purely on principle. Seems Quick is in tonight, which is minimally acceptable only providing that Bernier plays tomorrow. Though my faith … [Read more...]
Shit Infested Waters. Kings Take Out the Trash 5-2
March 16, 2013 By
They haven't been to the Stanley Cup Final. They haven't won dick of significance (the dick reference for one of our readers who asked for more phallic references) Yet, their fans carry a false sense of ego and pride, as if their fleeting regular season exploits mean a damn thing to anyone in the hockey world..."those were the days" eh Sharks fans? How do you kill a shark? Put it in the … [Read more...]
Monarchs Ménage a Trois – Tigers, Whales and Bears. Oh my?
March 15, 2013 By
As I sit in the stands watching the Monarchs warm up before their dance with the Sound Tigers, I hope that the demons of their shootout loss to the WBS Penguins on Sunday is out of their heads. After having an early lead (3-0 at one point), they gave up the farm and eventually the game in the third. Softy goal Jones strikes again. And damn you and your shootout voodoo, Zatkoff! You better have … [Read more...]
Tim Leiweke Leaving AEG by “mutual agreement”…We Have an Open Position at S&S
March 14, 2013 By
Here is the LA Times report. Read it. It doesn't say much, not that much was expected to be said at this point. I don't care too much about the football deal or AEG's grand empire. What I do care about is what impact, if any, this will have on the LA Kings. Tim Leiweke has had his critics, present company included at times. However, be it through hard work, luck, timing, fate and/or a … [Read more...]
Kings @ Sharks – It’s About Damn Time
March 14, 2013 By
Halfway through the season and there is a division rival we haven't yet faced. It's goofy, it's wrong. I knew there was a certain animosity my enjoyment of this season was lacking. San Jose, as I'm sure you know, got off to their usual rip roaring, yet meaningless start. Well, it was meaningful in that it prevented San Jose from being at the bottom of the league right now. Though they only … [Read more...]
The Pope is an L.A. Kings Fan and Declares Anaheim is Infested with Protestants…
March 13, 2013 By
Once you have won a Stanley Cup, certain things should become irrelevant. Moments in team history well short of winning a Cup, the opinions of other team's fans who have not won a Cup, and former players who did not excel here doing well elsewhere. Andrew (I like that better anyway) Loktionov has 4 goals in his first 12 games. Darryl Sutter is pissed off and it has nothing to do with a … [Read more...]
Kings @ Coyotes – Cursing With Impunity In My Living Room
March 12, 2013 By
So there I am, sitting, minding my own business when this guy, all smiles, walks up to my nearly empty aisle and sits down next to Bobby. He grins his goofy grin, the kind that can only mean you aren't going to like what he has to say, but god bless him he's trying, and then he makes the mistake of opening his mouth. "So I know you are having your fun and hey, I appreciate that!" he begins. … [Read more...]
Flames. Pfft. Pussies
March 11, 2013 By
We're at the mixing room. No Nick and Daryl but we don't come for them. We come for the overpriced drinks and average service. After that first period, I thought this would be another 6 goal game. I am a little disappointed. The Kings have been so relentless with the lead (we play a more aggressive offensive game with the lead than without most of the time) that this whole sitting back and … [Read more...]
Calgary @ Kings – These Assholes Again?
March 11, 2013 By
This goofy season presents us the first set of back to back home games against one team. This week we get to look at the Flames and all the Calgary based, hat wearin' weirdos that come with them before having to suffer the Phoenix Coyotes next Monday and Tuesday. Looks like we won't be seeing Toffoli tonight, which is fine. Maybe tomorrow, since we have the back to back and Sutter said the … [Read more...]
PF+PM+S=Forward Formula for Success
March 10, 2013 By
What? You think Quisp is the only one who can add? That's my formula. I have written about it before but not in this way. You know how Lombardi likes to "balance" out each defensive pairing with a stay at home defenseman and offensive one? I like to see balance on all four lines of a Power Forward (PF), Playmaker (PM) and Sniper (S). Penner-Richards-Carter When Penner is on his … [Read more...]
Fly Toffoli Fly
March 10, 2013 By
So apparently Tyler Toffoli is on his way to Los Angeles and Kings fans across the globe nation California Los Angeles few thousand La-Z-Boys, are jumping up and down like giddy children. The Kings top prospect, tearing up the AHL for months, could be playing his first NHL game as soon as tomorrow. The collective dampness in the pants of male and female Kings fans alike is pulpy. And just as … [Read more...]
Penguins @ Monarchs – Ghost of Monarchs Past
March 10, 2013 By
Man, how much must it have sucked to go up 3 goals to none only to lose in overtime? That's a question best posed to the Pirates' goalie, Chad Johnson. He lived it Friday night when the Monarchs rallied back late, forcing and eventually winning in overtime. The shorty-machine Stefan Legein sank them with a skillfully placed snapshot following a Pirates turnover in the neutral zone. Good … [Read more...]
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