The following quotes may or may not have been overheard at the L.A. Kings recent visit to the White House...I certainly did not sit down and make them up to entertain you, if that is what you're implying...jerk. Obama: "Hello, I am Barack Obama." Carter: "Where is the beer?" Obama: "You must be Jeff Carter." ** Obama: "Hello, I am Barack Obama." Richards: "Have you seen Jeff Carter?" Obama: … [Read more...]
Bettman and Fehr Meet Santa Claus
December 10, 2012 By
Donald Fehr and Gary Bettman, each having received a message from Santa Claus, arrive at the North Pole for Santa's requested meeting. They sit in Santa's office. … [Read more...]
The Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr Meeting You Won’t Read About Elsewhere…
December 4, 2012 By
Tuesday evening, the players and owners meet privately, without Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr in the room. Bettman and Fehr sit and wait, just outside the locked doors. … [Read more...]
The Strangest Dream, Part I
March 12, 2012 By
Call from a 310 area code I don't recognize. "Hello?" "Look outside," an unfamiliar voice states. "Who is this?" I ask. "Outside," the voice repeats. I walk to the front door and look through the glass. A limousine is parked by the curb and a driver holds the back door open. "What's with the limo?" I question. "Get in a suit. Get in the limo. Ten a.m., my office," he answers. "What?" I ask … [Read more...]
Conversations From The Kings’ Fathers Dinner
December 28, 2011 By
Once in a while there is an undercover mission I simply am not cut out for undertaking. When Scribe and I heard about the Kings' Fathers trip, I realized this was one of those missions. I wanted to take it on, but what is a handsome young guy to do, dress up as a piece of luggage? No, this mission called for the expertise of one man, a man we call Bobby. I phoned Scribe and told him how all of … [Read more...]
Things Overheard At The L.A. Kings Holiday Party
December 21, 2011 By
Surly and I sat for an hour trying to figure out how we could get him into the L.A. Kings holiday party. Me: Bartender? Surly: No, I suck at making drinks. Me: A corporate executive of some type? Surly: I don't own a suit...and I am not shaving. Me: Darryl Sutter's son? Surly: He has a son? Me: We could find out. Surly: Idiot. Me: Shrimp puffs! Surly: What? … [Read more...]
Surly Did It. He Stole Terry Murray’s Resume…
December 11, 2011 By
With the expectation that Terry Murray must be hard at work on his resume, I asked Surly to break into Terry's office and retrieve it. "Why the hell do I have to do these things!?" he protested. "Because every stealth mission you have undertaken has been successful and the readers are counting on you!" I beseeched. "Fuck you and your motivational tactics", he retorted, "I am not doing … [Read more...]
Surly Gets An Interview With Terry Murray?
October 30, 2011 By
I don't know how he does it. Surly has literally risked life and limb for you in the past. Just this season, he sacrificed work, traveled to Kansas City & brought us an interview with Terry Murray you won't read anywhere else as well as, more recently, undercover to spy on a meeting between Murray & Dustin Penner. Now, with no one to top but himself, he has ascended once more to an … [Read more...]
Transcript of Terry Murray’s Meeting With Dustin Penner
October 26, 2011 By
You may have already read this from Hammond: Murray held a lengthy post-practice meeting in his office with Dustin Penner to discuss his recent play. Jonathan Quick will start in goal tomorrow. More notes and quotes to come from practice… We learned about this potential meeting last night. That was our cue to go undercover. Since Surly's job was taken over by that homeless guy and he is … [Read more...]
The Rich Hammond & Terry Murray Interview You Won’t Read Anywhere Else…
September 27, 2011 By
So, Surly did the noble thing and decided to go to Kansas City for the Kings v. Penguins game. His boss technically told him he couldn't have the day off, but I suggested Surly pull a homeless guy off the street, take him to work and let the man just stand there holding a video camera because nobody would notice. I am told it worked. Given his stealth nature and ability to blend, Surly somehow … [Read more...]
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