As hard as the zebras tried to give the Ducks an edge in this game, the Kings said no. First, a phantom tripping penalty against Dustin Brown and later a similar garbage call against Dwight King, the Kings gave up one powerplay goal out of those two. As far as I am concerned, this was a 5-1 victory. How's your head, Souray? Your face? How many blows did he take from our young stud, Jordan … [Read more...]
Ducks @ Kings – A Sonnet for the Sucks
February 25, 2013 By
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Though art hot, and also temporary: Rough stuff may shake those who tempt Souray, But your lease on wins dies with contract of Perry: Sometimes too hot does the scalp of your coach glow, And oft is his pasty complexion reddened; And every coach at times swears like Boudreau, But like a blimp they are not all fattened: But thy eternal filth shall never … [Read more...]
An Open Letter to the New Insider, Jon Rosen
February 24, 2013 By
Dear Jon I have never written a dear John letter, or, in this case, a dear Jon letter. I was recently critical of Insider's direction for what I believed was you picking up Insider where Rich Hammond left it off and not propelling it forward. In the past two weeks, I have noticed two things - (1) your writing is improving and (2) your coverage of the team outside of the media scrum is too. … [Read more...]
Monarchs @ Pirates – Send Shivers Down My Timber
February 24, 2013 By
For 9 to 5’ers, Sunday is easily the second most depressing day of the week. Monday of course being the first. Do you know how you make that suck more? Try about a foot of wet and sticky snow. A foot of wet, sticky snow after getting almost two feet of light fluffy snow only a week or two prior. How do you make this better? Two words: Monarchs hockey. A 3-2 victory last night -- their … [Read more...]
Last Chance For Two Replica Rings (And They’re FREE!)
February 23, 2013 By
After having mailed out, I think, 16 Stanley Cup replica championship rings to deserving fans all over the country and several north of the border, there are two left. I was about to email the next people on my list who wanted to pay the $40 for a ring, when I received an email from Jared. Jared bought both rings. That asshole. But he didn't buy them for himself. He bought them for … [Read more...]
In Stanley Cup Form – Kings Blast Avalanche 4-1
February 23, 2013 By
Mike Richards. Jeff Carter. Carter and Richards...Richards and Carter. That pass Mike Richards made to Carter was perfect. Backhand, in the wheelhouse. As much as I loved the pass, Jeff Carter's wrist shot is one of the best I have seen. Varlamov may not have picked up that shot until it passed him and that is saying a lot considering Carter released that shot from well above the top of the left … [Read more...]
Monarchs @ Sound Tigers – A Frenetic Flurry of Feline Fury
February 23, 2013 By
If a hockey game was a meal, last night’s game against the Worcester Sharks was an expertly prepared turkey dinner with all the fixins. I’m talkin’ a fat ol’ turkey, some delicious ham, mashed potatoes, a bit of cranberry sauce, the best damn stuffing ever jammed up a turkey’s ass. Dammit, now I’m hungry... The story of last night’s game? The Monarchs stepped up and filet’ed … [Read more...]
Colorado @ Kings (Finally) – All Lappy All The Time
February 23, 2013 By
I am ionic an incisive to eye Ian. Laperriere. Lappy. Lappy loves LA and LA loves Lappy. Lightly lions lacerate ligaments compared to Lappy lighting up lamps and losers. Most popular player. Fan Favorite. Kings legend. Pregame ceremonies suck. Afternoon games suck. The combination has all the makings of an unsurprising defeat. But it's Lappy day, and Lappy lay low like lightning … [Read more...]
LOL @ L.A. Kings Stanley Cup Hangover Cure
February 22, 2013 By
I admit it. I laughed out loud. L.A. Kings Stanley Cup Hangover Cure. Stick tap to our reader, Deirdre for sending me the link. … [Read more...]
Former Royalty Building Their New Castles
February 22, 2013 By
As a Monarchs season ticket holder for several seasons, I’ve had the pleasure of sitting in the stands of the jungle watching future Kings pave their paths to the big show. Slava Voynov, Jordan Nolan, Dwight King, and Jonathan Bernier all skated on that hallowed ice as they grew from bright-eyed prospects to the Stanley Cup Champions they are today. It’s cool being able to say I met them and … [Read more...]
Monarchs @ Sharks — “Wuss-ter or Worst-er, does it matter?”
February 22, 2013 By
That was the quote seen on a sign in the crowd during the Monarchs pre-game skate before facing the Worcester Sharks in the first round of the 2010 Calder Cup Playoffs. I can’t remember if I saw it prior to the deciding game of the series -- an OT winner by Voynov clinched the series -- or earlier on. Regardless, it provided a simple play on words that was simultaneously insulting to both the … [Read more...]
You Are All Lame
February 21, 2013 By
We have some fantastic readers and commenters here at lakingsnews.com. This is a community Bobby and I have enjoyed cultivating. We love meeting those of you who aren't too creepy at games, various Kings events and hell, even a few random dive bars. We appreciate all the kind words you've given us over the years, the beers you've bought us and the great hockey conversations we've had. … [Read more...]
L.A. Kings Sweep Alberta 3-1
February 20, 2013 By
Me + Jeff Carter = Serious Bromance...only problem is he doesn't know I exist. Anze Kopitar still wants that one timer in the first period back. Poor Kopi. He was snakebitten tonight. Dustin Brown has started hitting again. That's good. Notice when Brown is hitting, he's also scoring. The low-release is my favorite offensive play. It is horror (pronounces haw-ra) for goaltenders. Have to … [Read more...]
Kings @ Flames – A Pregame That Doesn’t Suck
February 20, 2013 By
That's a lie, its gonna suck. The pregame, not the game. Because a pregame isn't a game, in fact, what the hell is a pregame anyways? There's too much use of the prefix pre. George Carlin taught me that. George Constanza taught me to go out on a high note. George Michael taught me to have faith. Fuck George Michael. I don't need faith to tell me the Flames are a bad team. That Joey … [Read more...]
Sliding Down the Hallway – Kings Ice Oilers 3-1
February 19, 2013 By
Bullet point time... The Kings' defense did a much better job of gap control (the distance between our defense and their attacking forwards) and moved the puck quicker on transitions (the first pass and the speed of the forwards without the puck) compared to the last time we faced these annoyingly skilled whippersnappers. Jonathan Quick was sharp and made big and timely saves although that first … [Read more...]
Kings @ Oilers Ho-Hum Game Thread
February 19, 2013 By
Looks like Quick is in net, that's fine, long as Bernier starts tomorrow. Looks like Gagne is out, which is great, because he's been perhaps the most useless player on the ice. Ah, I really have nothing to say about this one. Just want a win. We'll discuss the game when its on, until then, whatever. Taylor Hall looks like a ferret All the Oilers skill doesn't merit A good team, cause defense … [Read more...]
The Voice In My Head – Missing David Courtney
February 18, 2013 By
Too little has been said about the booming voice and the man behind it, David Courtney. I still can't believe he's gone. It struck like bolt of sad lightning when I heard David Joseph announce the starting lineup for the Blue Jackets on Friday. "This is wrong" said I, to myself. No one was listening at that moment inside my head. Instantaneously I was transported through some memories of … [Read more...]
Chicago Blackhawks Earn the Victory, 3-2
February 17, 2013 By
There are going to be clichés, right? Didn't play the full 60 minutes, can't play only 20 and expect to win, need a better effort, etc. At the end of the day though, Chicago earned this victory. They dominated the first two periods and didn't break (though they sure bent) in the third. There is no sense hanging your head or over reacting to this loss. It was a loss to a very good team, one … [Read more...]
Three Doesn’t Have A Square Root Because Decimals Are Bullshit – Kings @ Hawks
February 17, 2013 By
I'm not going to describe the logic that went through my head to arrive at that title, but rest assured, it's convoluted and makes little sense. Ok fine, I'll give you a summary of the logic. Kings win today, well boy howdy it's a bona fide winning streak. They lose, back to square one. Potatoes are root vegetables and I'm hungry. Afternoon games are bullshit and there are there are no half … [Read more...]
The Willie Mitchell – Matt Greene Domino Effect on Defense and Offense
February 16, 2013 By
Willie Mitchell and Matt Greene are the bookends of our defense. Two defensive defensemen, one in the top pairing (with Voynov) and the other at the bottom (with Martinez, who is now also on IR). But what about their impact on the team? From D through the neutral zone to O. Willie Mitchell clears the front of the net. Matt Greene guards the crease with his size and strength. Their absence = … [Read more...]
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