Well how do you like that? The Kings are going to the second round! This isn't a post game. We aren't going to analyze the 60 minutes of hockey played, how Drew Doughty scored the most Drew Doughty goal ever, vaguely reminiscent of his first NHL goal against the Colorado Avalanche. We don't need to remunerate Dustin Penner's buzzer beater or how the Kings, once again, came out victorious … [Read more...]
Jonathan’s Quick
April 13, 2013 By
I'm not writing a post game. It's almost 2am in New York and I got shit to do tomorrow before returning home to Los Angeles. However after watching the Kings defeat the Ducks 2-1 at a local Irish Bar where I tried to focus on hockey amidst top 40 music and a drunken Irishman asking me endless questions about hockey (none of which I could understand), I feel compelled to share a distinct thought … [Read more...]
Ducks @ Kings – A Sonnet for the Sucks
February 25, 2013 By
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Though art hot, and also temporary: Rough stuff may shake those who tempt Souray, But your lease on wins dies with contract of Perry: Sometimes too hot does the scalp of your coach glow, And oft is his pasty complexion reddened; And every coach at times swears like Boudreau, But like a blimp they are not all fattened: But thy eternal filth shall never … [Read more...]
Up Yours Superbowl – Let’s Talk About L.A. Kings and Western Conference Hockey
February 3, 2013 By
Do you know what I hate about football? Everything. Every fucking thing about this sport. It's not just because I am a hockey fanatic. It's because football is a fraud. You see, baseball at least calls itself America's pastime. Baseball therefore has the integrity to admit it is designed for lazy fucks who sit around and get fatter on hotdogs and beer while watching grown men throw a ball … [Read more...]
Fuck…
February 2, 2013 By
Wife reminded me at the end of this game that I unintentionally broke tradition, one established last season. Before every Kings vs. Ducks, we dined at our favorite restaurant and I always ordered the duck...this time, we had guests and I forgot. Fuck. From that moment forward, everything sucked. Accident on the 57 freeway, backed up traffic, we were late to the game. My condolences to … [Read more...]
Futzing Down The Freeway – Kings @ Ducks Game Thread
February 2, 2013 By
First of all, Bobby and I are busy scouring through your emails, trying to decide who will get the replica rings. Bate your breath for a little while longer. I know, I know, the wait is excruciating. So is choosing. Now, onto the game tonight that I won't be watching because I had the brilliant idea to take my woman to Ojai for her birthday before consulting the Kings' schedule. I suppose once a … [Read more...]
The L.A. Kings Have to Get in On the Scott Gomez Signing Negotiations
January 20, 2013 By
The San Jose Sharks are interested. Rumor has it even the Anaheim Ducks and Vancouver Canucks have put their slimy hands on the phone and made calls. The L.A. Kings have to get in on this. Scott Gomez is the definition of underachiever if you judge his career since the late New York Rangers years and through his time with Montreal. We are talking about a guy who was being paid a gazillion … [Read more...]
Lubomir Visnovsky Wants to Retain His Anaheim Ducks Stench of Ignorance and Failure
July 23, 2012 By
While Surly is busy figuring out if he is apathetic, ecstatic, inebriated or magnetic, there is some fun news to report regarding our old friend, Cookies Visnovsky. You all recall we sent Lubo to frozen Alberta and Oilers country in exchange for now L.A. Kings Stanley Cup Champions, Jarret Stoll and Matt Greene. Both players were huge for us in the Stanley Cup Championship playoff run (I just … [Read more...]
Creation By Destruction: Kings-Ducks Open Forum
March 3, 2012 By
Ah, the dreaded birthday game. I've been looking forward to this matchup since the schedule was first announced. The Kings vs the Ducks on my name day. Serendipity. Or calamity? The Kings hold the puppet strings to my emotions with a vice like grip on a normal day. When one celebrates their falling out of the womb with a hockey game, the strings are felt to be pulled by one with palsy. … [Read more...]
Anaheim Ducks Trade Bobby Ryan To The Los Angeles Kings For…
November 30, 2011 By
What did you feel when you read that title? Were you excited? Shocked? Disgusted? This article has percolated in my mind for about a week, not because I heard anything but because I kept looking at Bobby Ryan & asking myself, "isn't he the only moveable asset they have if they want players, prospects and picks?" I then coupled that with my love for that uninfected Anaheim top 6 forward … [Read more...]
Kings’ New Blood, Young Blood Spill Ducks’ Blood
November 17, 2011 By
Thrilling until the end. The box score tonight tells a tale that Dean Lombardi wrote. Richards scores two goals. Gagne dominates with a beautiful goal and a better assist. Andrei Loktionov gets an assist. Slava Voynov gets a goal and an assist. Kopitar scores the game winner. Tonight was a game for the new guys in King town, capped off by the best hockey player in California. For a while … [Read more...]
Game 20 – The Marker For Terry Murray’s Firing Or Lifeline
November 11, 2011 By
7 wins. 9 losses. 16 games have passed. Our next 4 are Wild, Ducks, Ducks, and Red Wings. The Minnesota Wild should prove an interesting challenge. They are a good defensive team and boast a better record at 8-4-3. The Ducks...well, the Anaheim Ducks are awful. You think we are struggling to score? Wow. Anaheim has a -15 goal differential. Only the Blue Jackets trail them in that department … [Read more...]
Caterpillar, Ducks & A Shot At Redemption
September 24, 2011 By
I love my vegetable garden. It is my pride. It is my joy. As the fall vegetables move toward harvest and the winter ones remain on deck, I am fortunate to have year round peppers that flourish - these include Serrano, Cayenne and the hottest Habanero peppers you have tasted this side of Mexico. Unfortunately, my pleasure is often interrupted by these green opportunistic mercenaries who are a … [Read more...]
I Need An Army Of L.A. Kings’ Fans Who Are Ready For War
August 31, 2011 By
My name is Bobby Scribe and I'm putting together a special team, and I need me one thousand soldiers. One thousand red-blooded L.A. Kings proud soldiers. Now, y'all might've heard rumors about this thing called Twitter. Well, this evening, I read this tweet from the official NHL Twitter. You know you're an #NHLDucksfan if you... Reply w/ #NHL Now, I'm sure there will be some Ducks' … [Read more...]
So, Where Are The Anaheim Ducks’ Fans?
August 14, 2011 By
Unlike Surly, I spend most of my days and nights in Orange County - currently I would put myself at about 20% L.A., 70% O.C. and 10% down the rabbit hole. I am not shy about team pride. Shirts, workout clothing, hats, and my car show the love. Lately, I have noticed a trend. About 2 months ago, I saw a guy and gal in Chipotle's parking lot. He drove my identical car (which is not an easy … [Read more...]
ONE DUCK, TWO DUCK, WHAT THE F***?
June 11, 2011 By
First, Corey Perry's sophomoric breakdown of the Cup Finals. Then, the only Anaheim Duck player I can tolerate, Bobby Ryan, does one...for the L.A. Times...as a "guest blogger". First, let's be clear on the word "guest". A guest is invited. Hence, Helene Elliott, whom I like and respect, invited Corey Perry and Bobby Ryan into her domain to, of all the insanity, write. If fish and guests … [Read more...]
COYOTES COME TO DOWN TO FACE DUSTIN PENNER’S DEBUT WITH THE CROWN
March 3, 2011 By
Tonight's the night boys and girls. Tonight we get to see the Kings' final answer to the first line LW problem. Tonight we get to see what Kopitar can do with a real talent. Tonight we find out if all the holes are filled. Tonight we shall decide if Penner is the right one. Tonight we kill the Phoenix Coyotes. Of course, though we will all be eager to pile on opinions, … [Read more...]
LA KINGS HOCKEY THOUGHTS & TIDBITS
February 25, 2011 By
Call it an urge to chat with my favorite Kings' fans...since I can't at the last-minute have you over to the house for a beer or four and talk puck, this will have to do. The LA Kings waived Marco Sturm. Color me apathetic. I don't get frustrated with Sturm's play or lack thereof anymore. Remember that we gave up little to get little and this move is a bit like running out of room in your … [Read more...]
KINGS, DUCKS, SWANS & INSANITY – AN LA/ANA GAME PREVIEW… SORT OF
February 23, 2011 By
So I just saw Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan. Liked it. Been around the ballet for a while (blame my female), so the insane psychosis is not too shocking for me. Got me thinking. A duck is just a retarded swan. Malformed. Malnourished. Something went awry in the genetic line. It would be like an entire race of little people with half-brains evolving from humans. If such a thing … [Read more...]
THE KINGS STANDING STILL…
February 10, 2011 By
I have but a moment to come up for air from the absurdly busy past two weeks in my life...I miss writing about our beloved team and conversing with you. But, since I have a moment, let me say this. One can make excuses and give reasons 24/7 as to why this player should not be acquired, or isn't the right fit, or costs too much, etc. You can go back and look at every single trade in the past 30 … [Read more...]
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