I don't mean to sound racist, but I thought only black guys were named Keaton. I just realized that I was confusing Keaton with Keenan. So maybe that's little racist. Ellerby though, there's a goofy Canadian white boy name if I ever heard one. Keaton Ellerby. King Keaton. Excellent Ellerby. We'll see. One thing we do know, he is not a tiny Russian forward. This is one big ball of … [Read more...]
So Long Andrei “The Not-So-Giant” Loktionov, Enjoy Newark
February 6, 2013 By
Per whatever source you feel like looking up, Andrei Loktionov was granted his request today when he was traded to the New Jersey Devils in exchange for the Devils 5th round draft pick. I have mixed feelings on this deal. I do believe that Loktionov is worth, or will be worth in the near future, much more than a 5th round pick (perhaps not coincidentally, it was in the 5th round that the Kings … [Read more...]
LA Kings @ Vancouver Canucks Round 1 Game 2 Open Forum: Shame Imposition
April 13, 2012 By
It's another day. A rainy, miserable day. But this thunder and lightning that beats at my door pales and trembles at the flash and the bang that crashes through my heart. Roars echo, cascading off living room walls and bar urinal stalls as the LA Kings take playoff ice once again in Vancouver. Tonight, the Canucks face the prospect of shame. Shame imposed by our own strong will. Shame … [Read more...]
Russians, Dogs & Bitches
April 12, 2012 By
I woke up this morning with a big smile. I high-fived several people at work. Then I scowled. Brendan Shanahan proved himself a bitch, scared of taking out a star player after 1 playoff game when he fined Shea Weber only $2500 for treating Henrik Zetterberg's head like a gorilla trying to open a coconut. It does not give me a good feeling that the bitch Byron Bitz will receive the … [Read more...]
Mike Richards & Arnold. What’s Not To Love?
February 26, 2012 By
The lines that put a smile on my face: "My dad always says if it's not going in, you must not be working hard enough." [after the girl didn't know who he was] "That wouldn't have happened in Philly." [To Doughty] "Buddy, if you only knew what style was. You're the worst style in the league." [To Loktionov] "You sure you don't want to order the last two things on the menu you haven't … [Read more...]
Win! Kings Win! Kings Fucking Beat The Stars 4-2…
February 12, 2012 By
Chuck Norris is proud. He doesn't smile often, but when he does, he means it. Tonight, Chuck Norris is smiling. Not because Andrei Loktionov scored his second goal in as many games (who didn't love that Lokti smile and the point to his leg after the puck went in!), not because Dwight King got his first NHL goal and not even because Jordan Nolan got his first! No, Chuck is happy because the … [Read more...]
I Forgot To Record The LA Kings @ St. Louis Blues Game – Open Forum
February 3, 2012 By
The Kings embark on an annoyingly long roadtrip tonight, starting with a game against the St. Louis Blues. We've kicked ass against the Blues this year, but we've kicked our own ass often enough for Coach Sutter to implement some interesting line changes tonight. The first line stays the same, the rest get a makeover. Kyle Clifford - Mike Richards - Dustin Penner Brad Richardson - Jarret … [Read more...]
The Manchester Monarchs’ New Year Slump
January 19, 2012 By
Nope, no need to adjust your monitors. You can also put down the phone and refrain from calling your local anti-zombie task force. I have indeed risen from the metaphorical grave after a long period of silence, but am very much alive and well. Where have I been? Read on, my friends. My absence isn’t that I no longer attend Monarchs games. It isn’t that I’ve grown to love the Monarchs any … [Read more...]
What To Do With Andrei Loktionov
January 10, 2012 By
I've seen and heard much talk about Andrei Loktionov lately. How is he performing? Should he stay with the Kings or be swapped for someone in Manchester like Brandon Kozun, Linden Vey or Marc-Andre Cliche? Opinions vary though one thing is certain, Loki is a scorer who isn't scoring. OK sure, Kopitar is a scorer who isn't scoring much lately, along with the majority of the Kings' roster. But … [Read more...]
L.A. Kings At Chicago Blackhawks: Open Game Forum
December 28, 2011 By
I actually think this father's trip is well timed. Chicago, as fairly recent Cup champs present an "up-and-at-'em" type of vibe, not that it has meant much in terms of our recent record against them. The added invigoration of having almost all the dads in attendance can be a very good motivator. Guys always want to show their daddies how good they can do, for either positive pride or Oedipal … [Read more...]
Conversations From The Kings’ Fathers Dinner
December 28, 2011 By
Once in a while there is an undercover mission I simply am not cut out for undertaking. When Scribe and I heard about the Kings' Fathers trip, I realized this was one of those missions. I wanted to take it on, but what is a handsome young guy to do, dress up as a piece of luggage? No, this mission called for the expertise of one man, a man we call Bobby. I phoned Scribe and told him how all of … [Read more...]
One Or More L.A. Kings Players May Get Traded Or Waived Before Christmas
November 23, 2011 By
I am struggling to wrap my head around one potential scenario - The L.A. Kings sending Andrei Loktionov to Manchester upon Dustin Penner’s return. I just can’t do it. Unless the Kings hate Charlie Sheen (read: Winning!), Dustin Penner has been rendered obsolete as a top 6 left wing absent an injury to a current top 6 player (biting my tongue) and we are left without any other option or a … [Read more...]
Kings’ New Blood, Young Blood Spill Ducks’ Blood
November 17, 2011 By
Thrilling until the end. The box score tonight tells a tale that Dean Lombardi wrote. Richards scores two goals. Gagne dominates with a beautiful goal and a better assist. Andrei Loktionov gets an assist. Slava Voynov gets a goal and an assist. Kopitar scores the game winner. Tonight was a game for the new guys in King town, capped off by the best hockey player in California. For a while … [Read more...]
Can I Get A Bernier? No, No I Can’t
November 17, 2011 By
I was going to make a post pleading that we would see Jonathan Bernier in goal tonight. I decided to wait until the official word from Hammond. Would an appeal to reason an hour ago have meant anything? Not likely. Jonathan Quick is getting the start tonight. Look, I'm not worried about Quick in the slightest. Playing a back-to-back this early in the season isn't a big deal particularly … [Read more...]
L.A. Kings Give The Vile, Abject, Repugnant, Contemptible, Wretched
November 17, 2011 By
...abhorrent, invidious, execrable, foul, loathsome, Orange County miscreants one point. One undeserving point. When an Anaheim rat comes to my door, I don't give it a small morsel of cheese. I take a shovel to its skull, drive a stake through its heart and hang it in effigy in my front yard as a warning to its entire species. This is our house you rodents. You leave here with nothing other than … [Read more...]
Terry Murray Wants More From Andrei Loktionov & Will Not Motivate Him, Eh?
November 15, 2011 By
Fellow blogger and friend, TheMayor, got this beauty from Terry Murray about Andrei Loktionov: "Well, I had many different scenarios in my mind on how it would all come together in the summertime, thinking Loktionov would really feed off of his opportunity from last year. I felt his training camp was off, quite frankly. in the exhibition games, in the practices, I saw some hesitation, I saw him … [Read more...]
L.A. Kings’ Russian Invasion
November 14, 2011 By
Good things come in threes. The Kings score a bunch of goals. Andrei Loktionov gets called up. And now, most likely, Slava Voynov will be back. Unfortunately, when they say good things come in threes, they neglect to mention that for every yin there is a yang. Penner is hurt. He may be under-performing, but we don't go so far as to wish ill on anyone... OK, well maybe a quick bout … [Read more...]
Who Will The L.A. Kings Recall From Manchester?
November 13, 2011 By
In honor of all the pugilism this weekend, Oh! Dustin Penner is down! 1...2...3...4...we'll check on him later. Meanwhile, we have a hole in our top 6 or, depending on your perspective, top 9. That rascal Terry Murray is rascally enough to plug in Kevin Westgarth but I don't think he's that sozzled with the 3 goal victory. So, who? The Manchester Monarchs left wing pickings are slim in … [Read more...]
The Monarchs 2011-2012 Season, Month One in Review
November 8, 2011 By
One month. 31 days. A constant give and take (mostly giving...), resulting in the team being on unsteady footing in their division standings; 1 point out of fourth and 2 points out of last. Out of the gate, the 2011-2012 Monarchs looked awesome. They were fast, skilled, and seemingly capable of lighting the lamp at will. In their season opener, they destroyed the Springfield Falcons in a 5-2 … [Read more...]
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