Prolonged Exposure: Lombotomy

[Meeting after the 1-0 loss to Calgary, the second consecutive game the Kings were shutout 1-0]

Sutter: “This isn’t gonna be a video breakdown today, boys. This is just a player’s meeting.”

Doughty: “Another meeting? Come on coach, we get it. It’s all Penner’s fault. How about we all play video games instead?”

Sutter: “Tits on a bull, Dougherty. I just got this message from some guy, must be a huge fan, because GM sent the message over…”

Doughty [leaning over to Richards]: “What does tits on a bull mean?”

Richards: [whispering to Drew] “He just called you an idiot.”

Doughty [shocked]: “Mother fu…”

Brown [to Kopi]: “Oooh, GM. Maybe we’re all getting a new car, like a Cadillac, what do you think?”

Kopi: “I think this is why I get paid more than twice what you do.”

Gagne: “Phone’s ringing.”

Sutter: “…it says here his name is Phil something. Weird last name…Ann…Ann Shits I think it’s pronounced. Huh. Must be Slovenian.”

[Everyone but Kopi laughs]

Continue reading

L.A. Kings, Down and Dirty: What’s A Mother To Do?

 

Vital Game. 4 Points. A familiar team, easy to game-plan against. A team the Kings have dominated so far this season at 3-0-1. Long rest, with a rare chance for 2 consecutive days of practice. Fight for the last playoff spot. Home Game.

No Goals.

We complain that Brown doesn’t fight; Brown fights.

We complain that Scuderi is a dead stick in the O-zone; Scuderi charges down below the goal line with a carry and gets a shot to the net for a potential scramble. In the 2nd period, Rob “Wheels” Scuderi leads a rush and carries it down to the circles before making a pass for a shot on goal.

We complain that both Drewiske, and alternatively his roster spot, are being wasted; Davis Drewiske dispels all rumours of his alien abduction and actually plays in a game. Continue reading

What Will Willie Mitchell’s Rumored Extension Mean For The L.A. Kings?

The Mayor has heard it.

Matt Barry has heard it.

We have heard it.

Willie Mitchell is getting an extension soon.

He is 35 this April. Spring chicken he is not.

He does have a concussion history. He has been healthy this seasons. Knock wood. If the L.A. Kings past and luck is any indicator, within a few weeks of the ink being dry on that extension, we will lose Willie to the dreaded _____ body injury. You fill in the blank.

Mitchell has a cap hit of $3.5 million. That is a lot of dough for a mid 30′s defenseman but one thing Willie Mitchell brings to the L.A. Kings defense is consistency and respect. He and that extra long stick keep crashing forwards away and clear pucks from around the crease. While nobody will mistake him for Shea Weber, Willie is the reason offensive defenseman like Drew Doughty and, more recently, Slava Voynov can take the role of the active D1.

Willie has value. How much? Continue reading

Dean Lombardi Made A Surprise Call To Don Meehan…

Surly called me up from wherever the fuck he is with his fiance to tell me he has a transcript of a call between Dean Lombardi and Don Meehan. So I asked him…

Me: What, from the summer? What the fuck am I supposed to do with that now?

Surly: No, dumb shit. From a couple of nights ago. I must have forgotten to take the tap off Lombardi’s phone and when I checked out the recorder and transcriber machine before I left, I found gold!

Me: You tapped his phone?

Surly: Yes…

Me: Did I know that?

Surly: Do you want this fucking thing or not?

Me: Send it over.

So, here it is boys and girls.

[phone rings]

Meehan: hello?

Lombardi: Hey jerkoff… Continue reading

Shea Weber & Ryan Suter Are Dangerous Men

The Nashville Predators are 9-1-0 in their last 10.

They have 64 points.

They are third in the Central Division, arguably the best division in the league at the moment (who would have thunk it) and only three points out first place in the entire NHL.

Impressive.

They have something like $14.4 million dollars in cap space.

Even more impressive.

They are also being held hostage by Shea Weber and Ryan Suter.

Weber’s words lead a reasonable person to believe he has no interest in signing anytime soon. Ryan Suter dropped the little bomb today that he won’t negotiate a contract before the trade deadline.

Both of them are using the “we want to see if the organization is committed to winning” line as the reason they have not signed.

Whatever. They want money, lots of it, Nashville’s financial situation is not stable and both want to play in a bigger and more secure market. Winning is part of that equation as well but the rest of it is not the “politically correct” thing to say. I doubt any of them would be honest enough to state, “we want a shit load of money from a big market team that has stable ownership and we just don’t see that in Nashville, no offense of course.”

So, what becomes of them? That is the subject of this article. Continue reading

Kings vs. Oilers: Doughnuts, Pancakes & More Megan Fox.

As soon as we fucked up that powerplay Boob (thank you reader Sydor25 for reminding me that the new name for the powerplay is “Boob”) at the end of the third period, I knew we were losing this game in overtime. I all but called it on Twitter. Still though, the officiating tonight was garbage.

Anze Kopitar went into beast mode during parts of that third period.

The main thing missing tonight from the L.A. Kings offense was sustained pressure. We had it in spurts during the second and third but, unlike the games against Vancouver, Washington and Calgary, the attack mentality (the replacement for the now dead, buried and pissed on its grave “shot mentality”) was not present throughout most of the game.

Side note: What is it with our first periods? It’s like all the players channel their inner Doughty.

Speaking of Drew Doughty, he managed to provide plenty of material to his detractors with that abortion of a performance. Hey, what do you expect for a lousy $7 million? Our reader, player-x, has already written most of his next article in his head. Reader JT is preparing his rebuttal.

Dustin Penner’s game is improving. Unfortunately, it is improving at such a slow pace that he may be good by the time the Kings have committed to not re-signing him. Continue reading

Kings vs. Stars: It Was The Best Of Games, It Was The Worst Of Games

In high school, I knew a kid named Brenden. I punched him on the school bus once. He was talking shit. I turned around, he looked at me, I looked at him and I popped him right on the nose. It bled. His eyes watered. I felt better.

There was nobody to punch tonight. Strangely, I am ok with that. I am fine. Surly is not fine. If you heard an explosion and saw a mushroom cloud between L.A. and the Valley, that was Surly’s head. It combusted.

Why am I fine?

We scored four goals. We came back twice, down by two goals, tied the game and took the lead. As far as I am concerned, we owned the overtime, as we did the second and third periods. Losing in the shootout isn’t losing. The shootout isn’t even hockey.

The powerplay rapidly improved. And I know why. After the first powerplay that looked like garbage, Surly leaned over to me and said, “we have to come up with a different name than powerplay when we write about it. We can’t call it that. There is no fucking power.” I thought for a moment and responded, “boob.” He laughed with a “what?” “We’re going to call it boob,” I told him. “Boob?” he asked. “Boob,” I repeated. Throughout the rest of the game, we had six boobs, at which Surly & I screamed “BOOB!” at the outset and a few times throughout. We scored on 50% of the remaining six. Boob. Continue reading

Due Droughty Part Deux – Can You Handle The Truth?

This article, his third, is brought to you by our reader, Player-X. Enjoy.

In my last article, I said this: “Droughty has flashes, and I say misleading flashes, of highly noticeable activity.” The Capitals game was the absolutely perfect example of that. Droughty had some good plays, some great plays, but also some bad plays, and some horrible plays. For a top-dollar defenseman, there were far too many bad and horrible plays.

One can cite the box score, but that is not the complete story. Yes, Ovechkin had no points and Droughty was his main matchup, but this was not ENTIRELY due to Droughty; in fact, Ovechkin’s greatest chances came because of Droughty mistakes. I also said last article, “I postulate that the team succeeds defensively despite Due Droughty.” Last night, at times, this was true, and when Droughty is being paid top-dollar he can have no excuses for glaring defensive lapses.

As for the “seeking of level” I mentioned between Johnson and Droughty, last night was also the perfect illustration of just that. Johnson’s only defensive mistake came late in the 3rd period with the Kings up 5-1 where he wandered toward the point and the Caps overloaded the net for a goal. This was the only blemish on an otherwise stellar game, with a goal and an assist, solid defense, excellent passing, and numerous other scoring chances on the rush. Droughty, meanwhile, was hot and cold, as I will show. Continue reading

Kings Fist Capitals 5-2

Sometimes a photo tells the story.

20120109-222320.jpg

Sometimes a photo pisses people off, like this one did when I snapped it while yelling “Say cheese losers!”

20120109-222558.jpg

Other times you just need to close your eyes, bow your head and appreciate a simple fact: that was fucking awesome.

Continue reading

Due Droughty and Ol’ Yeller

Our reader, Tom, brings you this article. It’s the second he has written for S&S and we look forward to many more.

“I don’t really know much about him. I heard he’s a bit of a yeller and I think that’s a good thing.”

That was Droughty’s quote before Sutter arrived, which Due spat out between claps for the birthday kid at a Chuck-E-Cheese off-day arcade day. This was probably his only chance to get out of the house in those old King’s pajamas he still wears. Since Sutter’s arrival, Due has really elevated his game, now at nearly curb level and expecting to reach tire-rim heights soon.

Am I down on Due Droughty?

Hell, yes.

As a salary leader on this team, Droughty cannot escape responsibility. Many applaud Due’s purported contribution as a high-minute D-man on a very good defensive team; I postulate that the team succeeds defensively despite Due Droughty. Continue reading

Drew Doughty On Cup Check: “It Was Just Spur-Of-The-Moment.”

I don’t know if The Mayor asked the question or someone else did, but kudos to whomever asked Jarret Stoll and Drew Doughty about Cup Gate & thank you to The Mayor for printing it.

Stoll – “I haven’t seen the video yet, to be honest with you. Obviously, I didn’t even realize it at the time. It must not have been that good (laughter ensues for all around). I need to take a look at it, I think. He told me about it and I said, ‘Really? I didn’t even realize it.’ I was just too happy that we finally scored a goal.”

Doughty – “It wasn’t pre-planned. It was just spur-of-the-moment. I don’t know what I was thinking. It just kind of happened, I guess. There’s nothing behind the scenes. I was just excited that we got the second goal. I don’t know why I did it, probably won’t do it again though.”

So what happens if Stoll gets a hat trick some time soon?

Doughty – “Well then I guess I, ah…”

Several of his teammates began chiming in with lots of laughter and stuff that doesn’t need to be printed.

I have no words. Just more laughter. Although I have a feeling Drew may not live this one down for a little while and may earn a nickname from it…oh, there are so many from which to choose.

L.A. Kings vs Winnipeg Jets Open Forum & A Cup Check Doughty Inspired Top 10

Kings vs. Jets.

It just feels right to write it again.

For far too long, every time I heard the team name “Jets”, I immediately tuned out because I assumed there was a football (you know, that sport where there is 13 minutes of action in 3 hours) discussion about to take place. No more! The Winnipeg Jets are back and the Winnipeggers couldn’t be happier about it. They are a loud and enthusiastic bunch. Coincidentally, L.A. Kings fans go into this game hoping to hear those same ‘Peggers quiet and somber. Continue reading

Not Quick, Not Any One Player, A Great Team Effort Beats Blackhawks 2-0

The L.A. Kings weathered the first period storm.

The L.A. Kings owned the Blackhawks in the second.

The L.A. Kings didn’t back down in the third.

The L.A. Kings to a man were moving their feet, forechecking, holding the puck and waiting for seams, fuck the shot mentality, fuck it to oblivion, tonight it was about smart hockey, creating traffic, havoc, picking up loose pucks and, never underestimating its importance, a suffocating defense that kept pucks to the outside. Both teams had a lot of shots on net (38 each) but it’s not about the shots, it’s about their type, direction and those ever critical second and third chances.

Continue reading

Kings Beat Ducks…God, I Love Writing That!

In honor of Darryl Sutter’s first game, I will supplement Surly’s post game with this (quotes via Rich Hammond):

(The game) “It was a hard-fought game for us. I thought we had a good start and did a lot of good things. We can improve on some of those things, get better at some of those things.’’

The L.A. Kings controlled most of the 60 minutes. I also saw some encouraging signs. 1) The Kings weren’t a slave to the half-boards. Every zone entry did not result in the puck being sent to the point for shot through bodies and sticks. 2) The Kings were looking for one timers. I saw more one time attempts (even the shanked ones) this game than any other I recall this season and not just on the powerplay but 5 on 5 as well. 3) The forecheck was better. Not great, but better. Still want to see that F3 activate more. Continue reading

Babcock Not Surprised By Doughty’s Struggles, Despite Being Touched By God

Always a good interview, Detroit Red Wings coach, Mike Babcock had the following gems for Helene Elliott:

Regarding L.A. Kings defenseman, Drew Doughty (who he once called as being “touched by God”):

Well, if I didn’t know he wasn’t at training camp — wasn’t he not at training camp — that would surprise me. But this league’s too good not to be ready to go when everybody else is ready to go. Whether you’re a player here that got hurt and didn’t play in training camp, and you wonder why 15 games in you got no stats, all you’ve got to do is look around the league. It’s not by accident. Players are too good. They’re too ready. They come in early. It’s a short training camp but they’re there two weeks in advance skating 10 times just to be ready to start training camp and you can do that on your own, but you’re not as good by yourself. That’s the facts. Continue reading

Jack Johnson’s “Something Different” & Offensive Zone Options

Our friend, The Mayor, gave us the following from Jack Johnson after the 4-2 loss to the Minnesota Wild. I have said that Justin Williams is the one player I want to interview. His history tells me he is a candid player and would stay away from the same tired clichés. Jack Johnson would have been my second choice. His interviews have led me to believe he is not shy about expressing his opinions and providing his perspective. That is why I was pleased to see The Mayor post this.

On his two points – “We don’t score very much, so nobody is going to be racking up a lot of points. But, the point is, we’re not scoring at all. So, it’s hard. We only scored two goals again tonight. You’re not going to win many hockey games only scoring two goals.” Continue reading

Taking Randy Carlyle’s Advice & Finding Inner Peace

Jeff Miller of the Orange County Register tweeted:

Randy Carlyle met with Bobby Ryan today concerning trade rumors and told him he “has to find that inner peace in himself to deal with it.”

Sage advice. This got me thinking. Bobby Ryan is not the only one under stress right now. How about our LA Kings’ players and coaches? Where is their place of inner peace within themselves?

Terry Murray: That place where every NHL scoreboard after overtime reads 0-0 and the shootout is replaced with a dispassionate staring contest among the opposing coaches.
 
Dustin Penner: The place where I can get $4.25 million per season for being funny and having a kick ass collection of songs on my iPod…and where women don’t lie…and Dean Lombardi loves me.
 
Kyle Clifford: Where punching others is the preferred means of communication.
 
Drew Doughty: Inner Peace? 8 years, $56 million, bitch!
 
Jack Johnson: Where my buddy Bobby Ryan is wearing a Kings’ jersey and Drew plays for a team where we see him twice per season. Continue reading

Drew Doughty Says “No, No, No” To Terry Murray…

We dig The Mayor. Here is a good article and interview he did with Drew Doughty:

Two goals and five assists probably isn’t what GM Dean Lombardi had in mind when he signed the Kings top defenseman to an eight-year, $56-million contract in September.

It was something acknowledged over the weekend, when coach Terry Murray spoke about Drew Doughty not giving the team what they need offensively so far this season. However, he wasn’t sure why the points have been slow to come.

And time appears to be a concern, when looking at Murray’s comment – “Now, we’re 20 games in…it’s important that we find the answer and get him going.”

Just prior to the Kings leaving for St. Louis, I asked Doughty if maybe he could explain his lack of point production…

“I don’t really have a reason for it,” said the 21-year old defenseman. I feel like I’m creating chances. I hit the post last game. I’m getting chances, I’m getting shots on net. I feel like I’m making some good plays to set up other guys, as well. Sometimes, it’s just about getting those bounces. Continue reading

Terry Murray Juggles…The Defensive Pairings?

From Hammond:

The Kings will have new-look defensive pairs tomorrow against Anaheim, as Drew Doughty pairs with Jack Johnson, Willie Mitchell pairs with Slava Voynov and Rob Scuderi pairs with Matt Greene. Terry Murray said he liked the familiarity that Mitchell and Voynov had earlier this season and wanted to stay with it.

You can see why Terry Murray is doing this. It is one part Mitchell & Voynov’s chemistry, two parts Doughty and Johnson’s penchants for offense and three parts the need for a shut down pair to balance part two. Drew Doughty & Jack Johnson are arguably akin to chocolate frosting on chocolate cake (Surly used up the monthly quota of porn and religious analogies in his last post) and come with some potential defensive limitations, especially Doughty it seems recently.

On the fourth line, Rich stated:

Jonathan Quick will start in goal tomorrow an Murray said he hadn’t yet decided on a goalie for Thursday. The Kings are expected to stay with a fourth line of Ethan Moreau, Colin Fraser and Trevor Lewis, meaning Brad Richardson and Kevin Westgarth would be healthy scratches. Dustin Penner was on the ice late in practice again today in a no-contact jersey, skating and doing some shooting. More notes and quotes from practice to come…

Forgive my sigh. Hunter should not play in Richardson’s stead. Can I get a boo…

L.A. Kings’ Russian Invasion

Good things come in threes.

The Kings score a bunch of goals.

Andrei Loktionov gets called up.

And now, most likely, Slava Voynov will be back.

Unfortunately, when they say good things come in threes, they neglect to mention that for every yin there is a yang.

Penner is hurt. He may be under-performing, but we don’t go so far as to wish ill on anyone… OK, well maybe a quick bout of the clap (since he hasn’t done enough to make us clap, yuck yuck).

Loktionov doesn’t have a spot to play at center, which could go either way. Today he skated on left wing with Richards and Brown. We saw Loktionov play on Kopitar’s left wing last year, something we all thought would work out wonderfully but ultimately did little to ingratiate Loki in coach Dilapidus’ eyes. Maybe that was just Loktionov not being ready for NHL top 6 minutes in general, or maybe he just can’t adapt a game to the wing that is so beautifully suited to a puck-distributing center. Continue reading

Terry Murray Said It All After The Kings 3-2 Loss To The Penguins

From Hammond:

(on getting two goals after the home scoreless streak…)
MURRAY: “And then to get the third, and not allowed. It was a high stick, though. They’re good goals. They’re the kind of goals that are in a good hockey game. The puck is in transition, there’s lots of battle, lots of compete. It was a real, good solid hockey game here tonight. Those are the kinds of goals that you’re looking for. Your top guys step up and make plays. They score. Same for them. They got a couple big plays from their top guys. So I think everybody went away pretty happy tonight.’’

(on not getting enough scoring beyond the Kopitar line…)
MURRAY: “Sure. That’s been addressed many, many times in our talks with (the media). Five-on-five scoring is something that we’ve got to get to the next level. I think we’ve got the people in place to do that. We just have to start to get it done. We’ve got some depth. We’ve got three lines that are built, right now, to be able to give us some scoring. We’ve got back-end guys, with Doughty, with Johnson, with Martinez, that can shoot the puck, get up into the play. That has to evolve. That has to come along faster. But I have a little bit of concern. We’re now into the season, into November, and we haven’t got that start that we wanted, on the scoring side.’’

You either have to chalk that up to just trying to stay positive or a coach who is so completely out of touch with his team that he is drinking from a secret stash of extra special mind numbing kool-aid. Continue reading

Will The Following L.A. Kings Players Please Report To Scribe’s Place?

Dustin Penner. Please bring your heart as I find little evidence you have one.

Drew Doughty. Bring your 8 year contract, the original and all existing copies. I have a few modifications.

Scott Parse. I just want to make sure there are not two of you, one that Dean Lombardi claims to be the most skilled player on the team and one that walks around with a Coors Light in his hand and doesn’t do much else.

Dustin Brown. I will have a few MMA players waiting to remind you what being physical is defined as…

Justin Williams. I just want to confirm which one of us is better looking in person…and then talk about your defensive acumen. Continue reading

A Kings Fan In Glendale…Arizona

One of our readers, Ken Wilson, attended last night’s game against the Phoenix Coyotes. He brought us his perspective. You think he had good seats? I think he had good seats. This is from Ken’s email to me:

(Kings vs Coyotes 10/28/11)

Tonight I had the pleasure of flying to Phoenix from Omaha, Nebraska to watch my beloved Kings take on the Coyotes from glass seats with my Dad and two brothers. Continue reading

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 950 other followers