It was a rough day. Coughing, hacking, trying to stay vertical and shake a fever. Taking my normally healthy diet into overdrive and self-medicating, I knew around 4:30 there was no way I was going to make this game, tempted as I was to attend, somehow jump over the glass and into the St. Louis Blues bench and cough and release contagion on anything that wears a musical note on their … [Read more...]
The Reports of Our Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated – L.A. Kings Win Game 3
May 4, 2013 By 17 Comments
Kings Beat Stars 4-2 in Regulation (not a typo)…
April 21, 2013 By 20 Comments
Incompetent. That is what the refs and linesmen were tonight. A high stick that was actually called by the linesman (unless he lifted his arm to smell his pit) and which should have resulted in a whistle the moment the Stars touched the puck. A phantom interference call on Trevor Lewis where Lewis stopped and the Stars' player (whose name isn't important enough to remember) skated into … [Read more...]
As I Sit Here Naked, Thinking About Matt Greene…
April 18, 2013 By
Like the rumble of 570 horses beneath the hood. A smooth Aberlour, 16 year, neat. A right cross that lands flush on the jaw. And a woman who keeps her motor clean. I love Matt Greene. Surly called for boots projecting on asses. What we got was a terrific game and exactly what I needed after a 14 hour work day. First, the opponents. Actually, fuck the opponents, let's talk about … [Read more...]
The State of Ha Ha. Kings Shut the Wild Up 3-0
April 4, 2013 By
The State of Hockey, eh? That is a catchy line if I actually gave a damn but on this night, I did not. We owed these bastards this shutout. They had no business beating us in a shootout the last time we played them and, as the expression goes, revenge is a dish best served cold. Guess what kids. It's pretty damn cold on the ice. Team defense was very different than that sloppy, messy, whatever … [Read more...]
Put Dustin Penner on the 4th Line and Keep Him There
March 23, 2013 By
I swear it's not complicated...hard work, that is. You just do it. You get out there and outwork the opponent. When you are 6'5", 245 pounds, you already have an unfair advantage. It's called size. When you don't use it, you might as well be 5"10", 160...which is what I am...and I am not getting paid over 3 million dollars to play hockey. I didn't get to see the whole game against the Vancouver … [Read more...]
PF+PM+S=Forward Formula for Success
March 10, 2013 By
What? You think Quisp is the only one who can add? That's my formula. I have written about it before but not in this way. You know how Lombardi likes to "balance" out each defensive pairing with a stay at home defenseman and offensive one? I like to see balance on all four lines of a Power Forward (PF), Playmaker (PM) and Sniper (S). Penner-Richards-Carter When Penner is on his … [Read more...]
Flame Retard…ant. Lucky Number 6
March 10, 2013 By
6 games and a Stanley Cup. 6 to 1 in game 6. Twice reaching 6 goals this season. Jake Muzzin scored a nice goal tonight. Kid has a snap shot, eh? Hey, what number does he wear? That's right. 6. When he scores again, he will have...6 goals. Slava Voynov was a beast. His offensive contributions from the blue line have been Drew Doughty like...back when Drew was racking up the points. … [Read more...]
Dallas @ Kings
March 7, 2013 By
Ironically fitting that we play the Stars one night after that game against the Blues. Having missed the tumultuous Tuesday affair, the most exciting non- "one where we lifted the Cup" game I attended was against the Dallas Stars a few years back. The one where the Kings came back from a four goal deficit in the third period to win in OT, scoring five goals in five minutes and six goals in seven. … [Read more...]
Cliffy Said Knock You Out, Kings Gonna Knock You Out…
March 6, 2013 By
Surly missed this game... Hold on, he's reading this and I want that to sink in. Surly Missed This Game Boy, he's pissed off right now. Because he missed this game. Holy shit, what a game! Three fights in the first period, Kyle Clifford's knock out uppercut of Roman Polak (who is, in his own right, one tough nut), three absurd goals against Bernier none of which were his … [Read more...]
In Stanley Cup Form – Kings Blast Avalanche 4-1
February 23, 2013 By
Mike Richards. Jeff Carter. Carter and Richards...Richards and Carter. That pass Mike Richards made to Carter was perfect. Backhand, in the wheelhouse. As much as I loved the pass, Jeff Carter's wrist shot is one of the best I have seen. Varlamov may not have picked up that shot until it passed him and that is saying a lot considering Carter released that shot from well above the top of the left … [Read more...]
L.A. Kings Sweep Alberta 3-1
February 20, 2013 By
Me + Jeff Carter = Serious Bromance...only problem is he doesn't know I exist. Anze Kopitar still wants that one timer in the first period back. Poor Kopi. He was snakebitten tonight. Dustin Brown has started hitting again. That's good. Notice when Brown is hitting, he's also scoring. The low-release is my favorite offensive play. It is horror (pronounces haw-ra) for goaltenders. Have to … [Read more...]
Kings Finger Vancouver on Ring Night, Beat Canucks 3-2 in a Shootout.
January 29, 2013 By
I haven't yet read Jacob's pregame. He told me he predicted a Vancouver Canucks victory. I know, I know, what the fuck is wrong with him, right? He gets one final score right against the Edmonton Oilers and the Surly one thinks he is Nostradamus. Except Jacob sucks at it. Maybe tonight's victory against the Nucks will get Jacob to stop predicting losses and get back to what he is good … [Read more...]
L.A. Kings Euthanize Coyotes 4-0 And Expose Its Players For What They Are – Vermin
May 15, 2012 By
Suggested questions for Dave Tippet at the press conference: At some point, did you consider calling a timeout when your team started to completely self destruct? Would you consider the level of integrity left in the room after this game to be slim or none? Do you remember the exact moment in this game that you completely lost control of your team? The NHL owes Dustin Brown a formal … [Read more...]
Aggressive. Easier Said Than Done For Young L.A. Kings Players Like Dwight King
April 19, 2012 By
Hockey is a fast sport. You have heard this, right? You believe it? It's an incomplete statement. Hockey is a fast transitional sport. The game transitions quickly from offense to defense and back, from pass to shot, from shot to save and from save to breakout. Hockey doesn't have a pause or reset button while the game is in play. It's constantly in motion. Even player substitutions happen on the … [Read more...]
On The Bright Side I Get To Wear New Pants
April 19, 2012 By
It is not often that I leave Staples Center after a loss reasonably content. Bobby was livid, but that was truly all that bogus 'calm' he spoke of embodying coming back to bite him. He now knows better than to feign tranquility during a playoff series. I am disappointed the Los Angeles Kings did not sweep, but last night's 3-1 loss did not put the smallest of dents in my confidence that … [Read more...]
LA Kings @ Vancouver Canucks Round 1 Game 1 – Open Forum – Playoffs Be Fuckin’ On!
April 11, 2012 By
Here we go boys and girls. From their sticks to our voices to their ears, the LA Kings playoffs are about to be underway. Jeff Carter will join them. Daniel Sedin will not. Nor will I. As I will be working, I rely on you for the play by play. We will set the tempo. We will be hungry, vicious, merciless. The Canucks will be cocky, overconfident and undone. There is no other option. … [Read more...]
And So The Last Homestand Of The Regular Season Begins: Open Forum
April 2, 2012 By
Well my friends, it's been a fun ride, this regular season. There are only two times where we will attend Staples Center this year and still possibly leave with our larynx intact. After this Thursday, the next time we visit Staples it will be not with our game faces, but with our murder faces. Did you know that if you google "game face" this pops up on the first page? You know why? Because … [Read more...]
LA Kings @ Edmonton Oilers Open Forum: Put Up No Shut Up
March 30, 2012 By
The Edmonton Oilers suck. Though winning should be relatively easy, this game must not be taken lightly. Jeff Carter is out, his ankle propped up on the breasts of some bimbo, trickling blood to all the wrong places. While he rests, the Kings are afforded no such luxury. As far as I'm concerned, we are playing the 2002 Red Wings. That is the approach I want to Kings to take. The result … [Read more...]
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