Like the rumble of 570 horses beneath the hood. A smooth Aberlour, 16 year, neat. A right cross that lands flush on the jaw. And a woman who keeps her motor clean. I love Matt Greene. Surly called for boots projecting on asses. What we got was a terrific game and exactly what I needed after a 14 hour work day. First, the opponents. Actually, fuck the opponents, let's talk about … [Read more...]
Phoenix @ Kings, Phoenix @ Kings
March 18, 2013 By
*mini update for 3/19 game* Bernier is in net! Well rotated goaltenders! *end mini update* I refuse to write two game threads for these games. We haven't even played them yet and I already find tonight and tomorrow against the Coyotes exasperating purely on principle. Seems Quick is in tonight, which is minimally acceptable only providing that Bernier plays tomorrow. Though my faith … [Read more...]
Cliffy Said Knock You Out, Kings Gonna Knock You Out…
March 6, 2013 By
Surly missed this game... Hold on, he's reading this and I want that to sink in. Surly Missed This Game Boy, he's pissed off right now. Because he missed this game. Holy shit, what a game! Three fights in the first period, Kyle Clifford's knock out uppercut of Roman Polak (who is, in his own right, one tough nut), three absurd goals against Bernier none of which were his … [Read more...]
Kings Beat Blue Jackets 2-1…Our New Bitch?
February 16, 2013 By
The Columbus Blue Jackets...just the name strikes fear of boredom into hearts. End of 1st period Me: "This isn't a hockey game. It's a bunch of guys with sticks...on ice." Jacob: "Ha Ha. Write that in your post game and I bet you JT will comment, 'what are you talking about? This was a great hockey game!'" Shinny and sloppy the first two periods, sans Kyle Clifford stripping the puck from a … [Read more...]
“How About This Fucked Up Team, Right Here?”
February 10, 2013 By
It's easy to look at this game and state Jimmy Howard stole it. But that would be the incomplete story line to the L.A. Kings 3-2 fall to the Detroit Red Wings. The complete story line would include an awful game by Jonathan Quick including two bad goals (the second and third). Howard didn't "steal" this anymore than Quick gave it away, wasting a solid effort by some of the L.A. Kings forward core … [Read more...]
3 and 7 = History Sucks. Hangovers / 2 Polls
January 25, 2013 By
That's the Boston Bruins' record last season for the month of October. One of their wins was in a shootout. They lost 3 out of their first 4 games. They then went on a tear the following month...and you know the rest. While I still blame Surly for last night's loss, looking back at team records after a Stanley Cup victory does lend credence to the hangover theory. I got 2 … [Read more...]
Kings Step on Their Collective Dicks, Lose to Oilers 2-1 in OT
January 24, 2013 By
Don't have much left in the tank... 0 for 18 on the powerplay in three games. 0 for 18. Fuck off. Send Mike Richards back to eastern Canada to do more ice fishing. He's not ready for prime time yet. He handles the puck like a heterosexual male handles a stranger's dick in his hands. Hey Kyle Clifford was great, again. Jonathan Quick. Love you man. You really miss Willie Mitchell. So do … [Read more...]
Antitrust, Distrust, Decertification and Detox From Diatribe…What Else is New?
November 25, 2012 By
L.A. Kings fans are a lucky bunch. During the chill of the NHL lockout, we have a 16-4 playoff run and a Stanley Cup Championship to warm our cockles. With the talk now of decertification (the ultimate "oh yeah?!" to the owners) over what is rumored to be a $182 million difference between the NHL and NHLPA over five years (which is about $1.2 million or so per team, per people who decided to do … [Read more...]
Phoenix Coyotes @ LA Kings Round 3 Game 3 Open Forum – Out Of The Frying Pan
May 17, 2012 By
The Los Angeles Kings have left the scorched earth of Arizona, hopefully for the last time. Now in LA, the Phoenix Coyotes enter the fire. Once again we walk into Staples Center, home ice torn from those who feigned to be better than us during the regular season. 2-0 in the Conference Finals. A guy could get used to this. What he can't get used to but apparently must, is the other team taking … [Read more...]
Russians, Dogs & Bitches
April 12, 2012 By
I woke up this morning with a big smile. I high-fived several people at work. Then I scowled. Brendan Shanahan proved himself a bitch, scared of taking out a star player after 1 playoff game when he fined Shea Weber only $2500 for treating Henrik Zetterberg's head like a gorilla trying to open a coconut. It does not give me a good feeling that the bitch Byron Bitz will receive the … [Read more...]
Kings Beat Canucks In Game One 4-2. Enjoy It & Get Back To Business On Friday
April 11, 2012 By
I tweeted before puck drop: I am so relaxed before the Kings game. Why am I so relaxed? No nerves. No nervous energy. No, I am not medicated. Crazy? Not really. By the end of the second, even after the Vancouver Canucks scored the late goal, I was not shaken. You know what? Neither were the Kings. The game had ebbs and flows, like any good game does and we did dominate most of the second period … [Read more...]
Give Me Bernier Or Give Sutter Botulism – Kings @ Colorado Open Forum
February 22, 2012 By
Jonathan Quick was fighting the puck last night. Meanwhile, the team actually remembered how to play with the puck. If Jonathan Bernier isn't in net tonight against the Colorado Avalanche, then perhaps we should just trade him. What the hell does it matter if you have an untested backup goalie if you never bother to test him? The Avs just dumped Kyle Quincey. This would be a good thing for us … [Read more...]
L.A. Kings Defense > Tampa Bay Lightning’s Offense
February 7, 2012 By
Dustin Penner. Pencakes. I should criticize him more often. What a game from the flying fridge. Hustle & heart, getting in front of the play, aggressive on the forecheck, back checking for goodness sake and burying one off a work, work, work play by Mike Richards who fed Penner the puck. I am going to enjoy this game for a couple of days but I still don't believe he has it in him to do it on a … [Read more...]
I Forgot To Record The LA Kings @ St. Louis Blues Game – Open Forum
February 3, 2012 By
The Kings embark on an annoyingly long roadtrip tonight, starting with a game against the St. Louis Blues. We've kicked ass against the Blues this year, but we've kicked our own ass often enough for Coach Sutter to implement some interesting line changes tonight. The first line stays the same, the rest get a makeover. Kyle Clifford - Mike Richards - Dustin Penner Brad Richardson - Jarret … [Read more...]
Kings Slay The Senators 4-1
January 23, 2012 By
Ass in face. That is the goal of every forward, especially the wings, when the Kings have the puck and are shooting from the point. Ass in the goalie's face to be specific. On the first line, that is Dustin Brown. On the second, Dustin Penner. On the third, Brad Richardson. On the fourth, tonight, it was a rotation of all three forwards in Kevin Westgarth, Colin Fraser & Kyle … [Read more...]
Kings Fist Capitals 5-2
January 9, 2012 By
Sometimes a photo tells the story. Sometimes a photo pisses people off, like this one did when I snapped it while yelling "Say cheese losers!" Other times you just need to close your eyes, bow your head and appreciate a simple fact: that was fucking awesome. … [Read more...]
Puttin’ On My Positivity Cap
December 19, 2011 By
Man that Bobby Scribe is so fucking depressing. Oh wait, it's so sutting depressing, right? Maybe so fucking sutting fits best. All this sutting Sutter shit is gonna give me a stutter. Anyways, I take a few days off to collect my thoughts and get in the holiday spirit and I come back to a stream of malaise and doldrums bordering on the suicidal. From existential crises to forlornness aligned … [Read more...]
Will The Following L.A. Kings Players Please Report To Scribe’s Place?
November 3, 2011 By
Dustin Penner. Please bring your heart as I find little evidence you have one. Drew Doughty. Bring your 8 year contract, the original and all existing copies. I have a few modifications. Scott Parse. I just want to make sure there are not two of you, one that Dean Lombardi claims to be the most skilled player on the team and one that walks around with a Coors Light in his hand and doesn't do … [Read more...]
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