The following quotes may or may not have been overheard at the L.A. Kings recent visit to the White House...I certainly did not sit down and make them up to entertain you, if that is what you're implying...jerk. Obama: "Hello, I am Barack Obama." Carter: "Where is the beer?" Obama: "You must be Jeff Carter." ** Obama: "Hello, I am Barack Obama." Richards: "Have you seen Jeff Carter?" Obama: … [Read more...]
Put Dustin Penner on the 4th Line and Keep Him There
March 23, 2013 By
I swear it's not complicated...hard work, that is. You just do it. You get out there and outwork the opponent. When you are 6'5", 245 pounds, you already have an unfair advantage. It's called size. When you don't use it, you might as well be 5"10", 160...which is what I am...and I am not getting paid over 3 million dollars to play hockey. I didn't get to see the whole game against the Vancouver … [Read more...]
PF+PM+S=Forward Formula for Success
March 10, 2013 By
What? You think Quisp is the only one who can add? That's my formula. I have written about it before but not in this way. You know how Lombardi likes to "balance" out each defensive pairing with a stay at home defenseman and offensive one? I like to see balance on all four lines of a Power Forward (PF), Playmaker (PM) and Sniper (S). Penner-Richards-Carter When Penner is on his … [Read more...]
In Stanley Cup Form – Kings Blast Avalanche 4-1
February 23, 2013 By
Mike Richards. Jeff Carter. Carter and Richards...Richards and Carter. That pass Mike Richards made to Carter was perfect. Backhand, in the wheelhouse. As much as I loved the pass, Jeff Carter's wrist shot is one of the best I have seen. Varlamov may not have picked up that shot until it passed him and that is saying a lot considering Carter released that shot from well above the top of the left … [Read more...]
“How About This Fucked Up Team, Right Here?”
February 10, 2013 By
It's easy to look at this game and state Jimmy Howard stole it. But that would be the incomplete story line to the L.A. Kings 3-2 fall to the Detroit Red Wings. The complete story line would include an awful game by Jonathan Quick including two bad goals (the second and third). Howard didn't "steal" this anymore than Quick gave it away, wasting a solid effort by some of the L.A. Kings forward core … [Read more...]
Sometimes, You Gotta Bang a Fat Chick…Kings Beat Columbus 4-2
February 5, 2013 By
Confidence. You don't appreciate how important it is until you lose it. Once you do, doing the little things right, gaining and sustaining momentum and winning gets it back. Tonight was a game of little things that turned into a big win. Yeah, it's Columbus, I know but, going into tonight's game, they were ahead of us in the standings and a loss could have turned Surly's "nobody panic" to … [Read more...]
Up Yours Superbowl – Let’s Talk About L.A. Kings and Western Conference Hockey
February 3, 2013 By
Do you know what I hate about football? Everything. Every fucking thing about this sport. It's not just because I am a hockey fanatic. It's because football is a fraud. You see, baseball at least calls itself America's pastime. Baseball therefore has the integrity to admit it is designed for lazy fucks who sit around and get fatter on hotdogs and beer while watching grown men throw a ball … [Read more...]
Fuck…
February 2, 2013 By
Wife reminded me at the end of this game that I unintentionally broke tradition, one established last season. Before every Kings vs. Ducks, we dined at our favorite restaurant and I always ordered the duck...this time, we had guests and I forgot. Fuck. From that moment forward, everything sucked. Accident on the 57 freeway, backed up traffic, we were late to the game. My condolences to … [Read more...]
Kings Step on Their Collective Dicks, Lose to Oilers 2-1 in OT
January 24, 2013 By
Don't have much left in the tank... 0 for 18 on the powerplay in three games. 0 for 18. Fuck off. Send Mike Richards back to eastern Canada to do more ice fishing. He's not ready for prime time yet. He handles the puck like a heterosexual male handles a stranger's dick in his hands. Hey Kyle Clifford was great, again. Jonathan Quick. Love you man. You really miss Willie Mitchell. So do … [Read more...]
Red Carpet, Black Banner, Memories and Momentum
January 19, 2013 By
When we fell down 3-0 in the first period, a thought occurred to me. Thankfully, the irony of losing 6-1 on the afternoon of our banner raising game didn't come true. Thankfully, we scored two goals and made an atrocious 60 minutes only awful. Shinny hockey? No. Shitty hockey. We'll get to the game in a moment. Let's talk about the pre-game. The Stanley Cup being walked down the red … [Read more...]
LA Kings @ Phoenix Coyotes Round 3 Game 5 Open Forum – One More Cup Of Coffee
May 22, 2012 By
Here we go again, into that dark cold... Um... Unreasonably hot night. The Phoenix Coyotes have, for the second time, their hind legs hanging off a cliff. Shane Doan's furry paws scratch and claw at the sand to keep the pack of pups clinging to his teets safe from falling to their doom. The Los Angeles Kings loom overhead, boots primed for grinding claws to dust. The first two games of this … [Read more...]
L.A. Kings Euthanize Coyotes 4-0 And Expose Its Players For What They Are – Vermin
May 15, 2012 By
Suggested questions for Dave Tippet at the press conference: At some point, did you consider calling a timeout when your team started to completely self destruct? Would you consider the level of integrity left in the room after this game to be slim or none? Do you remember the exact moment in this game that you completely lost control of your team? The NHL owes Dustin Brown a formal … [Read more...]
On The Bright Side I Get To Wear New Pants
April 19, 2012 By
It is not often that I leave Staples Center after a loss reasonably content. Bobby was livid, but that was truly all that bogus 'calm' he spoke of embodying coming back to bite him. He now knows better than to feign tranquility during a playoff series. I am disappointed the Los Angeles Kings did not sweep, but last night's 3-1 loss did not put the smallest of dents in my confidence that … [Read more...]
LA Kings @ Calgary Flames Open Forum: Need It Be Said?
March 28, 2012 By
Leaders must lead. It must not always be with words. If Dustin Brown is the captain of this team, then his face must tell a tale that his shoulder knows well. If Mike Richards is a born locker room leader, then his eyes must betray his heart, pulsing on his sleeve. If this team is to make the playoffs, words will not suffice. Not mine. Not the players'. Not the coaches'. The word … [Read more...]
Kings In Detroit Suck City
March 10, 2012 By
I missed Nashville. Sounded fun. I missed Columbus. An achilles heel with an added punch to the Johnson. I thought I would miss Detroit too. Hell, I doubt if I'm going to be able to make it to Tuesday's home game against Detroit. I've worked 70 hours this week. It will be closer to 80 by the end of today. I am not a happy hockey fan. But surprise, I get off work last night early … [Read more...]
Darryl Sutter Doesn’t Want To Single Out Mike Richards? How Interesting.
March 8, 2012 By
In the media scrum, Darryl Sutter was asked about needing more from Mike Richards and Jeff Carter. SUTTER: “I’m not going to single any of that out. I think the only thing that kept us alive tonight was Jonathan Bernier and our penalty killing. Other than that, it was pretty much right across.’’ I don't think the question (although it wasn't posted) was only about the Blue Jackets game. … [Read more...]
Temporary Insanity Or Evil Genius? Anze Kopitar Goes Left.
March 2, 2012 By
Kopitar-Richards-Carter Brown-Stoll-Williams Penner-Richardson-Lewis Clifford-Fraser-Nolan The words "Kopitar left" swim in my occupied mind. They have done the breast stroke for the past week. On defense, he is big and has a nice reach. Anze can occupy and take away lanes, keep the puck from the defensemen and intercept passes. That is primarily what a wing does in the defensive … [Read more...]
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